It sounds disgusting, but it turned out to be pretty good.
“What’s your nephew’s name? Flame?” Rudy asks.
Monica laughs. “Do you have a niece named Ember?”
“You know my name isn’t actually Blaze, right? It’s important that you know that.”
“Then you shouldn’t have burned so much food your rookie year,Blaze.” Rudy elbows Blaze in the side as he shovels another bite in his mouth.
“I’m glad it turned out okay.” I look down at my plate, suddenly a little self-conscious. I’m not an expert chef, I just enjoy doing it, so I know I still have a lot to learn. “I read somewhere that I was supposed to tenderize the meat, but I’m not sure that mattered for this recipe.”
“I’ll tenderize your meat,” Rudy says, and we all break out into laughter.
“If you go anywhere near my meat, I’ll throat-punch you,” Blaze says.
I laugh. “No one wants to touch your meat, you feckin’ arsehole.”
The conversation moves from food to teasing as it often does with this group, and I smile to myself. If I’m not spending time with my folks, this is where I feel most at home.
My parents and I emigrated from Ireland when I was sixteen. I was the only child born to Aidan and Ciara O’Connor, and I was determined to carry on the family name after my Ma wasn’t able to conceive again after me.
But growing up with parents who had the ultimate love story added a lot of pressure on me to get it right. I’m not going to settle down and marry just anyone. I want to find the right woman. And while I’ve enjoyed the company of a lot of lassies in my day, not everyone has the patience to put up with my goofball ways.
“Can’t you take anything seriously?”
“You’d be the perfect guy if you weren’t so obnoxious.”
“You’re hot, but that’s about all you have to offer.”
I try not to let my exes’ words get to me, but it’s a punch to the gut every time I think I’ve found a good woman, only to let my true self out and find out that they only like the way I look.
Ma would constantly ask me when I was going to give her grandkids. And I felt like I was disappointing her every time I couldn’t give her an answer. I got so desperate at one point I donated to a sperm bank, thinking that if I couldn’t find the right person to have a kid with, at least someone might want to have my kids. It was stupid, I know.
I want nothing more in the world than to have a family. A little brood running around that look like me, share my name, and could carry on the O’Connor legacy. It would make my Ma happy. It would makemehappy.
But years of unsuccessful relationships have discouraged me. So, I spend hours in the gym as a distraction, and I’ve poured myself into work, determined to be the best, mostdependable guy on the crew. And for the last few years, this cooking thing has become my latest obsession.
“Hey, are we out of coffee?” Rudy yells, pulling me out of my thoughts. I look around and realize I’m the last one at the table.
“There should be more in the cupboard,” I say, rounding up all the discarded dishes at the table and depositing them in the sink.
“I can’t find any,” Rudy calls back, waving his hand up and down at the empty shelf where the coffee should be.
“Whose turn was it to stock the coffee?” Blaze asks.
“It was the rookie’s turn,” Hardy says. We all look at RJ, who throws up his hands in apology.
“I got it, I’m off shift anyway,” I say, pulling on my jacket. None of these guys can leave because they’re on duty.
“What would we do without you?” Hardy says quietly, before addressing the group. “We can always depend on Mike. Be more like Mike, you lazy fucking assholes.”
“Yes, sir,” a few guys reply, the rookies more enthusiastically than the others.
It’s about a fifteen-minute walk to Chestnut Mountain Roasters. I should drive, but I want to burn off a little of that meal and some of my anxious energy.
When I approach the door to the coffee shop, I notice the back of a familiar head of blonde hair. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the way she ran out of the market the other night. I was hoping to see her again.
Her delectably plump arse is against the door, pushing it open, hands full of coffees, so I pull it open for her.
