He had three months at the most to find his brother before the winter set in and he was determined to do so or die in the attempt. His first task was to deliver Beth to her future husband but after that he would be free to start his investigation.
*
Weeks passed and Perry had still not regained his sight. Unfortunately, neither had he any notion as to who he was. The only thing he remembered was that his given name was Perry but apart from that he could remember nothing about his past, his family, or why he was in Spain in the first place.
His hearing had sharpened as had his sense of smell but that was no compensation for not being able to see. 'God dammit to hell!' For the third time that day he sprawled on his face after walking into something he hadn't anticipated being there.
'There's no need to swear, Perry, that is getting you nowhere.' Sofia didn't attempt to help him up as she knew that would enrage him further. She was no more than an arm's length from him. Her scent was unmistakable – something floral heavily overlaid with saddle and horse.
He surged to his feet and reached out before she could react. His hands caught hold of her shoulders and he pulled her close. 'I'm a useless lump of a thing, it would have been better if I'd perished along with my horse.'
'You are hurting me, Perry, please let me go.'
Instantly he released her. 'I apologise, sweetheart, but I notice you didn't disagree with my assessment of the situation. I'm a liability and an expensive one at that. I can do nothing to help the village and yet they still have to feed and clothe me.'
'Is that what's upsetting you? You had sufficient gold in your saddle bag to pay for your lodgings for a decade. The fact that you handed it over to Pablo without being asked endeared you to everyone. Because of your generosity we shall all benefit this winter.'
She took his hand and led him like a child to the paddock in which the horses and donkeys were kept during the warmer months. There was a large barn to stable them during the freezing, snow-filled winter months. Only the wealthiest owned a horse – the rest made do with a donkey for transport.
'We shall ride, that is one thing you can do as well as anyone here.'
'I find it deucedly strange that I can converse in Spanish as well as English and can ride a horse when I don't know anything else.'
'It's in God's hands, there's nothing you or I can do about it. I think it's still possible you could recover your memory. Once you do so then we will be able to send word to your family who must be desperately wondering what has happened to you. You might not be able to see, but there will be a place somewhere you can live happily.'
Perry could even tack up his horse without assistance, and he trusted the Spanish animal not to take him anywhere he didn't want to be. Marron, Spanish for brown, greeted him with a wicker. This gelding was his, it had been agreed by the village elders that some of the money he had given them had purchased it.
As long as he had Sofia riding with him he was confident he'd come to no harm. She would call out when they were approaching an obstacle or about to trot or canter and this was enough for him to remain safe in the saddle.
The only time he was truly happy was when he was away from the village, away from what he thought were pitying faces, with the girl he had come to love beside him. This love was doomed to failure as he could never ask her to be his wife. Even if he knew his true identity he could not burden her with a husband who was blind and had to be taken about the place like a child in leading strings.
'I must leave here, sweetheart, I can't remain any longer.' He pulled gently on the reins and his horse came to a standstill. He waited and she rejoined him.'
'What is it? Why have you stopped?'
'Did you not hear what I said? I don't belong in your village and I am standing in the way of your happiness. I can never marry you and whilst I'm here you have been putting me first and ignoring Carlos.'
*
Sofia knew why he was saying this but she was a believer in the old adage that love conquers all. She had been in love with him since the first moment he had opened his eyes all those weeks ago. Despite the fact that he was blind, he wasn't helpless, he was a strong and handsome man. Perhaps if he had not appeared so mysteriously she might have considered Carlos as her future husband, but now that could never be.
She edged her mare close to his gelding so their knees were touching. She stretched across and took his hand. 'Why do you say that? My mother would be delighted if we made a match of it – she thinks you are a true gentleman. She has never wanted me to marry Carlos even though she intends to marry his father as soon as I am settled.'
His fingers closed over hers. Her hand looked lost in his. 'How can I marry you when I don't know who I am? Good God, I could already be leg-shackled. I could not risk it, sweetheart, however much I should like to.'
A wave of heat travelled from her toes to her crown at the thought of what she was about to say. 'Things are different here. We have no priest since Father Reynaud died two years ago, so at least one couple has decided to live as man and wife without the benefit of clergy. It could possibly have been years before the bishop was able to find a priest prepared to come here and they did not wish to wait.
'I don't care if eventually it turns out you cannot remain here with me, that you have obligations elsewhere, I wish to share my life with you for as long as I can in the fullest way possible.' There – she'd said it. She was offering to be his mistress, something she would not even have contemplated when she left England two years ago.
She watched his expression change. His eyes might not see but they still flashed and changed colour according to his mood. His voice was gruff when he eventually answered. 'You would live with me as my wife even though I am blind and cannot take care of you as I should?'
'I love you, you love me?'
He raised her hand to his mouth and kissed each knuckle in turn making her tremble inside. 'I love you more than my life. But I cannot accept your offer, my darling, you have not thought this through. There could well be children and they would be bastards. I could not do that to you or to them.'
There were tears in his eyes and hers brimmed too.
He shook his head. 'If I thought I would be remaining here, that no one is looking for me, then things might be different. I'm certain there is someone I'm close to. Sometimes at night I can almost see them. You must see, my angel, that I have to go. When Don Pablo and the men return I shall ask them to escort me to the English army. It's possible someone there might recognise me.'
She had no option but to tell him what the village elders had decided. 'Carlos thinks you might have been a wine merchant.'
'Yes, that is possible but for some reason I think it incorrect.'
He dropped her hand and turned his horse towards the village. For the first time he went ahead of her trusting today to his animal's instincts to get him home safely. If he was to leave it would break her heart. If spending the night in his arms meant she would be left carrying his child then so be it. She would have something tangible to remember him by.
She would marry Carlos and become a good wife to him even though she could never love him as she ought. Word had come from a traveller that finally their new priest was on his way to the village and should be with them before the snow. Already families were preparing for marriages and baptisms – many of them coming a year or two later than they should be. She would speak to her mama about her plans and if she was not too horrified, then she would set things in motion as soon as may be.
