'If you say so, my love, then I must be.' He ducked and climbed in without the benefit of the steps and twisted so he could sit whilst keeping her in his arms. The under-coachman peered nervously into the carriage and then hastily closed the door.
Perry carefully undid the ribbons of her bonnet and tossed it onto the opposite squab. Then he pulled off his gloves using his teeth and they joined the bonnet on the seat. She had remained silent and passive in his arms whilst he did so.
He rubbed the tears and dirt streaks from her face with his handkerchief. 'To continue, sweetheart, I believe that I am also stupid and ungrateful. Have I omitted anything on this list of my sins?'
She sighed and finally relaxed into his embrace. 'I am sorry that I caused you so much upset, I just went for a walk. I was angry because you had told Polly to throw away my men's garments and I needed to clear my head. Jenkins was my escort.'
He kissed her lightly and she didn't recoil, which was a good sign. 'Is that all. You must realise, Sofia, that your days of riding astride dressed like a boy have gone. I have no objection to you riding astride as long as you remain on Silchester land and do not go abroad. I am sure a garment can be constructed that will make this possible and not send shockwaves through the family.'
The carriage had trundled out of the yard and was now making slow progress through the press of other vehicles along the narrow streets of Dover. They wouldn't be stopping until it was time to change the horses. He must assume that Jenkins or Smith was now leading Billy.
She wriggled off his lap and while still holding onto his arms relocated to the other side of the carriage. For a moment he thought it was because she didn't wish to sit next to him but then she explained why she had moved.
'I need to be able to see your face when we talk and I cannot do so unless I sit opposite. There has been a distance between us since we left Salamanca and we need to address this before we reach Silchester.'
He pushed out his legs and trapped hers between them, he wanted to be in physical contact with her whilst she spoke as he had a feeling he was going to hear things he didn't want to know. Hopefully, the physical attraction between them would be enough to prevent them from becoming permanently estranged.
'Do I have your permission to speak frankly?'
He flinched. Had it come to that? Did she really think things had changed so much between them that she needed to have his permission before speaking?
'Go ahead, sweetheart, I give you my word I shall not interrupt until you are done.'
She closed her eyes as if gathering her thoughts. She pushed herself more upright on the squabs, and then began. 'I'm beginning to fear that we have made the most catastrophic error by becoming man and wife. I am not denying that we are in love with each other but I have finally understood that love does not conquer all.
'We are as different as chalk and cheese. Tell me honestly, Perry, if I had not so foolishly come to your house that night would we be married now?'
'I don't know, possibly not. I do not doubt the love we have for each other, but like you I have been having serious concerns about how we are going to adjust to living together in such different circumstances.'
She glanced down at his legs making it clear she wished to be free of them and obediently he swung them to one side. This was not going well. Instead of clearing the air it was making things more difficult between them.
'I am not suited to living the restricted life of a pampered wife of an English aristocrat. I have no interest in the things that I should, I have no wish to spend time on pointless morning calls, supper parties and musical evenings. I do not play the pianoforte, paint pretty watercolours or do embroidery.
'Nevertheless, I shall do my best to adapt to my new circumstances. I pray that we have a large family as I believe that is something I should enjoy. I sincerely hope that we don't live to regret our impulsive decision.'
Tears were trickling down her cheeks but she raised a hand when he went to offer her comfort. There was nothing he could say that would make things better. Marrying her and bringing her to England was like putting a wildcat in a cage.
'I love you, do not doubt that for a minute, sweetheart. I would give my life for you, I would kill anyone who harmed a hair on your head, but everything you say is correct. I too will do my best to make things easy for you, to allow you as much freedom as I can.'
He reached out and pulled down both window blinds in turn. Then, ignoring her slight protest, he pulled her almost roughly onto his lap. 'What we do have, darling, is this.'
He had never made love in a moving carriage but it was exactly what they needed to heal the rift between. The danger of discovery, the hilarity of being rocked and bounced from place to place, renewed the one thing they shared. They had passion and he intended that this flame continued to burn and prayed that it would be enough to see them through the difficult times that were coming.
*
After tumbling into the well of the carriage twice she and Perry remained there. It was cramped and uncomfortable but the most exciting thing she had ever done. The thought that at any moment the carriage might stop, or the duke might bang on the window demanding to speak to her husband, just made it all the more thrilling.
When it was over and they had rearranged their clothes, they were both flushed and breathless. He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her with a thoroughness that made her wish they were somewhere they could continue this to its delicious conclusion once again.
'I must apologise…' he began.
'You must not. We are a married couple and can do as we please. I am quite sure we are not the first to behave as we just did in a moving vehicle. A thoroughly exhilarating experience, my lord, even if you did have your boots on.'
His laugh sent shivers down her spine but fortunately the carriage began to slow, they must be approaching the inn where the horses could be exchanged for the second team. When Jenkins had explained she had been part horrified at the extravagance and part impressed by the efficiency.
'Where is my bonnet? I cannot get out so dishevelled, it will be immediately obvious what we have been doing. I shall die of mortification if your brother was to see us like this. He is a stickler for the rules, he might pretend it is otherwise, but I can sense his disapproval when I misbehave.'
'I'm in no better case than you, sweetheart, so I think we must pretend to be asleep. Quickly, grab the furs from the floor and we shall drape them over us before anyone can look in.'
