"Just pick something. I don't care what."
I settle on a random action movie. The sound of a car chase fills the room in bursts of noise. I lean my head back against the sofa and watch the steam rise from my plate. This is what I wanted when we were kids. Back when we were just four boys with nothing but a plan. I spent years staring at code and building a fortune so we could give her the world. A decade passed in boardrooms and server hubs. Money moved and influence was bought. Her career was built from the shadows; we pulled the strings that she didn't even know existed.
That felt like the whole point, providing safety and success. Playing the architect of her life took up so much focus that the part where we just got to be with her was missed. We should’ve found a way to reenter her life that wasn’t controlling it..
We eat in silence, half-watching the movie. I can feel the warmth of her leg near my shoulder. I watch the light from the TV bounce off the wall. The sound of her fork against the plate is a steady rhythm. This is the pack dynamic I dreamed about. Just a quiet night with a B-rated movie and her within reach.
Zora sets her empty plate on the coffee table. She shifts on the sofa, pulling her legs in toward her chest so she can sit up. Sheslides her weight toward the end of the couch, moving her body until she is right above me. She reaches down and rests her hand on the side of my neck. Her palm is warm. She stays there for a minute, her thumb tracing the line of my jaw while she watches the screen. Then she slides her fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck and gives a firm tug to get me to look up.
"You've been staring at the wall for five minutes, Theo."
I turn my head and look up at her. She leans forward over the edge of the cushion, her brown face close to mine. Her eyes are dark and searching.
"I'm just taking it in. We don't do this often."
"The movie?"
"The everything. Sitting here. Not having to hide behind lies. Just getting to be with you, not for sex to quiet the bond. In the last few months it has been quickies at the shelter and nothing else."
I turn around on the floor so I am facing her. I rest my arms on the edge of the cushions.
"I’m going to be honest with you. You’ve been the love of my life since we were kids. There hasn't been anyone else. Not ever."
Zora's brow furrows. She pulls her hand back from my neck and stares at me like I’ve started speaking a language she doesn't recognize.
"Wait. No one else? You're twenty-six, Theo. You're an Alpha."
"I’m a man who knew what he wanted and couldn't have it. I never saw the point in a placeholder. The first time for me was that night in the penthouse. During your heat."
She goes ashen as her mouth drops open."You were a virgin? And I took it from you... like that?" She looks down at her hands, her voice a whisper. "I didn't even think. I've just been with Betas, Theo. I didn't think virginity was even a thing for you guys. Most Alphas end up working for Alpha Aid for money. Itreated you like a tool that first time. I used you for the knot and I didn't even give it a second thought."
I reach out for her hand again. "I gave it to you, Zora. I wasn't a victim. I don't regret a thing."
She shakes her head and lifts her head to meet my gaze. "I was so cold. I was angry at all of you and I just used your body to get through the heat. You were my first Alpha knot, and I didn't even try to make it mean something for you."
She moves closer to the edge of the couch. She reaches out and cups my face with both hands. Her light touch is warm as she runs her thumbs over my cheeks.
"I’m so sorry. I want a second chance. I want to do this right. Without my heat, or the anger. You deserve a softer experience than a quickie or angry sex. I want to do this right."
She leans down and presses her lips to mine. It is a soft kiss. I stand up and move onto the cushions beside her. I am mindful of her wrapped ankle, keeping her leg propped up on the pillows as I shift her weight.
Pulling my shirt over my head, I toss it aside. Zora keeps her gaze on the shift of my muscles as I move closer. My hands find the buttons of her shirt. The fabric falls away to show her in the pale light. Her bra comes off next. It is impossible to stop looking at her. I run my fingers from her collarbone down to the divot of lean muscles in her stomach. I want to memorize every inch of her.
"You're shaking, Theo."
I can’t take my eyes off her body. "I've waited fifteen years to touch you like this. I think I'm allowed a tremor."
I lean down and press my face into the crook of her neck. I breathe her in. Honey and vanilla. I trail my lips down her chest, my tongue tracing a path over her brown skin. She lets out a low moan.
Undoing her jeans, I tug them down as she lifts her butt for me. I’m careful of her ankle as I pull them off. She lies naked on the cushions, her eyes fixed on mine. I strip out of my jeans and boxers and join her.
I move over her, my weight supported by my forearms. I kiss her again, a deep slide of my tongue against hers. I move my hand down between her legs. Her slick folds meet my fingers; she’s so wet. She tilts her hips, wanting more friction as her hand reaches out to the arm holding me up to dig her nails into it.
Her fingers tangle in the hair at the base of my neck. She pulls me down until our foreheads press together.
"Stay right here, Theo. Don't rush a single second."
My thumb circles the spot that makes her breath hitch.
