I gaped at him, shocked neither of them had mentioned it. But then, things had snowballed pretty quickly since that night, so I focused on what mattered. “Are you okay?”
Landon smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Yes and no?”
“Oh, Buns…”I stepped into his arms and looped mine around his middle. “I’m so sorry.”
He wrapped me in his hold and hugged me tightly to his chest.“I’ve been trying to make sense of it before sharing it with you. It’s a lot. And it’s confusing. Sorting out what order the memories fall in. Each time I think I’ve pieced it together, another memory surfaces.”
“Wouldn’t Kingston be able to tell you?”
His jaw tightened. “Yes, but I haven’t decided if I want him to do that yet.”
I bit down on my cheek to keep from responding, wanting him to share whatever he felt comfortable telling me without worrying over how I’d react.
As we sat in silence on a log by the lake, Landon stared out over the water while his jaw worked around words he wanted to release.
Finally, he hung his head. “Quinn, I think I killed my mother.”
I looped my arm around him and squeezed tightly, struggling not to react and immediately deny the possibility. Surely, if that had happened, Kingston would’ve mentioned it.
He wouldn’t have left that out, so I hated that Landon believed it for a second, and that he was dealing with it alone.
These secrets—Landon’s memory and past—were driving wedges between us. Isolating us when we needed each other.
I pulled back to assess him.
Staring off into the distance, his expression carried so much pain as he shook his head. Tears filled my eyes before I blinked them away. “What do you remember?”
“It comes in flashes. Crimson palms. Blood on my hands. Kingston coming toward me, at some point when I was out of my mind. I put my palm out to stop him. To keep him away, and I—” He winced and pressed a hand to his temple. “They were covered in blood. I remember wanting him to stay away from me. I just don’t know why.”
I swallowed as he shared his memory, recalling Kingston’s reaction the day before after he’d put his hand out to stop me from getting closer.
Despite the urge to encourage Landon to talk to Kingston, I feared Landon might shut down if I did. I thought of letting Kingston know what Landon remembered myself, but I didn’t want to break his trust and confidence in me.
Navigating how to help the three of them had grown more difficult, and Kingston and Landon’s relationship had always been separate from what they shared with me.
It affected me. The Knights’ Quorum was proof of that.
But some things were theirs to manage together, and I couldn’t get involved. Figuring out how to support them without interfering would take time, but I’d find a way.
Maybe all I could do was be there for them, holding space if they needed it.
“What triggers the memories to come out?”
“Every time I close my eyes, there’s something new. It’s in pieces but still coming.” Glancing down at me, his grief-strickenexpression filled with concern. “Sometimes, I wake up fighting a ghost that isn’t there. It’s not safe for you to be around me when I’m asleep, so please, promise me you’ll keep your distance.”
I pulled back to stare at him, my voice firm. “You won’t hurt me anymore than Max will, Landon. I’d bet my life on that now.” When his jaw tightened, I relented and tucked back into his chest. “But yes, if that makes you more comfortable, I’ll make sure I leaveifwe end up in that position, okay?”
He nodded, the slightly eager movement of his chin jarring the top of my head. Noticing that, he dropped a kiss to my crown, and one to my temple, before meeting my eyes.
“I will talk to Kingston,” he promised. “I just need time.”
“However you need to process this, I support you.” I offered what Kingston had said to me the day before to Landon, hoping to bring them closer. “Remember, I’m here.”
He smiled, swatted my butt, as was our tradition, and sent me on my way to my next session. With a heart full of worry over how their past would play out in the present.
And what it might mean for our future.
For the next hour, Peter and I stared each other down from across a chessboard. In progressing toward my larger goals, myStrategysessions proved as useless as I was at chess.
