“That’s even more reason to help him.” I growled, frustrated both he and Landon kept telling me the same thing while doing nothing to help me. “What would you do if it were Landon?”
Kingston’s heartbroken expression tore at my heart. “I’m doing it, love.”
Tears pricked my eyes, and I drove my hands into my hair, pulling at the strands. “Fuck.” Pressing my eyes shut, I turned away from him. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
I dropped my head against the glass, struggling past the mounting fear and frustration over the thought of not getting through to Max. Kingston had been dealing with the same for a decade. Even with no hope of it working out, he kept going.
He knew exactly what it was like to carry secrets alone.
Pressing in close, he wrapped his arms around my back. “I’ve said this before, but it remains true. Holding onto faith can feel impossible at times, but we—” He swallowed deeply. “You’ll see what it was all for in the end. And I have to believe that’s true for LandonandMax. For us all.”
I shook my head, not wanting to hear that, even if it might be true.
Because, if he was right, I didn’t know how to face it.
My life had been filled with lemons. Thingsdidn’twork out, not in my experience. So, I didn’t know how to sit by and just have faith, hoping they would.
The idea of doing so terrified me.
Especially since, if Kingston was wrong, I could lose Max.
And after everyone I’d already lost, I?—
“I should go to bed,” I said stiffly, withdrawing from him. “It’s been a long day, so…”
Kingston shuttered his expression before nudging me toward the door. “Go on, then.”
I made it to the doorway before turning back around, emotion clogging my throat and tears threatening behind my eyes. “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head. “No need to be. It’s an unimaginable position to be in, having to protect yourself and separate piecesof your heart while holding onto faith. So, you never need to be sorry. Not with me.” His eyes fell on the chessboard by his desk. “Just be strategic. Think each move through to the end. And be safe. Remember, I’m here.”
The corner of my mouth lifted with a sad smile.
“That’s what he said.” I waited until Kingston returned his gaze to mine. “Landon. He told me to be safe. Be strategic. You’ve gotten through to him, to all of us, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.”
Kingston’s expression threatened to break, and I rushed forward to wrap my arms around him.
But he shook his head and held out his palm.
I froze, and his eyes widened before he dropped his arm.
“What’s going on, Kingston?” I searched his face. “Is everything okay with you? Or with you and him?”
He forced a smile and cleared his throat. “It will be, love. Don’t worry.”
That didn’t ease my concern, so he stepped toward me and tipped up my chin with his thumb. He winked, reluctantly drawing a smile from us both. “I have faith.”
“Okay.” I nodded, giving him my best watery smile. “I’ll try to do that, too.”
Predicting how successful I’d most likely be, his smile came easier. “Just be safe. That’s all I ask.” He raised his eyebrows knowingly. “And be strategic.”
“I will.”
Later that night, while lying in bed thinking about Kingston and Landon, I fell asleep to restless dreams, filled with bears and shadowed men.
I woke suddenly, gasping for air.
As I caught my breath, I stared up at the ceiling.
