“Wow.” I smacked my lips together. “Who knew The Quest came with free therapy?”
Dax smirked. “It should really be on the brochure, huh?”
“Yeah, that’ll really sell this place.” I snorted, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “But it’s like I told you, Dax. I don’t have emotions to channel today. I’mfine.”
He reached out and patted my shoulder quickly before pulling his hand away. “Sure you are. Now, pick a color, grab a brush, and load it up with paint. Then have at it.”
Sure I’d misheard him, I enunciated. “Have at it?”
“Yep. Whatever strikes your fancy, kid.”
“Don’t call me kid.”
With another chuckle, he stepped back and gestured at the supplies, cueingme to get a move on.
I surveyed the colors, grabbed a brush, and loaded it up with a healthy amount of purple. As it dripped onto the floor, I stared at the walls and tried to figure out what to do next.
Then it hit me.
Although it was a different cabin, I stood right where Max and I had played truth or dare in ours. Right where he’d dared me to touch myself while he watched.
My cheeks flared with heat, as if I’d broadcasted the memory through the room. I tried to push the thoughts from my mind, but they wouldn’t quiet.
That night had been a turning point for us.
The moment I’d admitted that Max Dread and all his devil-may-care-charm was actually getting to me. I stared at thefloor where I’d played out the fantasy in my head. Him and me, sharing something I’d only experienced with one other person, even though Max didn’t know it.
My first time with Landon.
Right before the Knights’ Quorum.
Right before he saidNo.
I’d been so mad at him—so hurt I couldn’t even think about that moment when I came back to Camelot Court—and because of my anger, I’d been open to Max Dread’s charm. Each time he revealed a deeper layer of who he was, I’d softened. So, while I’d been wrong to keep the secret from him later, back then, I hadn’t owed him my truth or trusted him enough to give it.
That moment had still belonged to me.
And, deep down, I’d believed he would only hate Landon more for it.
But if it hadn’t happened, if Landon hadn’t broken through my walls before briefly breaking my heart, then things might’ve played out differently. Maybe we would’ve stayed together through the first thirty days, and I would’ve been loyal only to him. Maybe I would’ve refused to open up to Max Dread.
Or maybe when Landon had said no, I wouldn’t have had anything to prove, and I wouldn’t have come back at all.
In both scenarios, Max Dread and me? We would’ve stayed a fantasy. A road not traveled.
A what if.
I didn’t know for sure, and I couldn’t wonder about the what ifs forever. But sometimes, I did.
So, I didn’t want Max to hate me for protecting that moment for as long as I had, knowing it could be the only reason I got to havehim.
I sniffled, pushing away the emotion rising in my chest, before I turned back to Dax. “Can I use more than one color?”
He smiled, his eyes filled with sympathy as he nodded.
Then I startedpainting.
By the end ofSublimationtraining, I had streaks of purple, blue, and red in my hair.
