I drove my hands into my hair, half tempted to tug it out.
“Your file was stolen, and the rumor circulated. At that point, no one wanted to forget it. Not after another outsider had joined The Quest the year before. Not after I kept my distance. And even more so, not after the rumor mill believed history might repeat itself.”
“What history?”
“That the King’s most loyal, trusted Knight had fallen for the woman he’d chosen as Queen.”
“Oh.” I frowned as I recalled the legend. The infamous love triangle, an affair between Lancelot and Guinevere, that ended King Arthur’s reign. “Has anyone ever told them they all need to get a life?”
“That is life here, Quinn,” he admitted sadly. “I convinced my father I lied to Landon about my interest in you to get him to join the Knights, because he’d been hesitating after the Maiden died the year prior. I convinced him the rest had all been blown out of proportion by those seeking my father’s power throughtheirownmanipulation of The Quest. It worked, but only so much that he allowed me a chance to prove it to him. Prove you meant nothing...and prove that Landon remained loyal to me.”
“Landon saying no at the Knights’ Quorum.” I nodded. “But I know all that, too, Kingston.”
“Yes. But the problem was you had to remain in The Quest. Still possible at that point because of the Maiden Appeal, but if I had given you my vote to go on, then it would’ve negated the point of Landon saying no. It wouldn’t have convinced my father that I wasn’t trying to get you to the end, becauseIwould’ve been locking you into The Quest.”
I thought about that moment, when I’d asked Kingston if we were done at the Maiden Appeal and I could go pack my shit for the lake. “That’s why you looked to Merle for his approval…”
He swallowed and nodded again. “Merle is my father’s right-hand man. He claims he’s loyal to me. My trusted advisor. But at the end of the day, he always answers to my father. And my father trusts him. As much as he can trust anybody. So, I needed Merle to choose to keep you in The Quest unprompted. Without any doubt that he’d do it,beforeLandon said no. I needed him to believe it was the best course of action so deeply that he would vouch for the plan to let you continue to my father. Without any of it coming from me.”
I thought about the way Merle had acted when I went to him after my attack. How horrified he’d been over what happened on his watch. And how willingly he’d given over the documents I requested. All before wishing me a safe journey home. Expecting, or maybe hoping, for me to leave and not come back.
And then, after the Maiden Appeal, when I’d overheard them talking in Merle’s office, I thought about what he’d said about me in there. About having no choice but to side with me. All while Kingston voiced his displeasure over it.
But…even that made sense, too.
“And Merle did,” I said. “Once he thought I was a liability.”
“Exactly. My father loathes scandal. No matter where it comes from, and since your safety and well-being fell under Merle’s duties, tying your liability to him became paramount.”
The reality of what he’d done hit me, and I stepped away from him. Tears filled my eyes, my voice breaking as I forced myself to ask a question I didn’t want answered.
“So, you had me attacked?”
“No, Quinn.” He took a step forward before freezing in place. His eyes pleaded with me to see the truth, but then he dropped his head. “But I am responsible for what happened to you. Icalled for help. From someone who knew the stakes and who could give you a reason to need your contract without doing any serious or lasting damage.”
“Like what? Drugging me?”
Swallowing deeply, he admitted, “It was an option, yes, but one I refused to take. The attack didn’t have to be much. All they had to do was put a hand on you, and you would’ve had a reason to go ask for your contract, which is what I thought you’d doafterLandon said no. Never before.”
“So, what happened?” I swiped at the tears falling down my cheeks. “You asked for help using paper cups and strings, and the message got jumbled? You’re very intentional your words, Kingston. I find it hard to believe you weren’t clear.”
“I was explicitly clear. But I failed you by not considering what that opportunity in the wrong hands might bring up for the person presented with it.”
“Whoever you called—What?Theypicked Vivian?”
“No, I did.” His voice cracked over the admission. “Her family is the one my father is most suspicious of, and you had a natural rivalry with her because Max Dread was interested in you from the minute you walked through the doors. At least, to those of us who had reason to see it, it was obvious. She seemed like the natural choice. She’d jump at the chance toscare you off,and I’d plant doubt in my father’s head about the Valencourts in one go.”
“Oh, she jumped at the chance, alright.” I scoffed. “I mean, I could’ve told you that if Vivian was given permission to give me a little bitch slap, she would’ve run with it.”
“I underestimated her. What I thought was petty jealousy on her part was more than that. There are things I’ve learned since then that I won’t put on you or use as an excuse for what she did. The point is, I made a mistake, and you were deeply hurt because of it.” Voice heavy with regret, he shook his head.“And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to express how truly sorry I am for all this. But…my only other option at the time was telling Landon everything, and the risk of doing that?—”
His voice broke and features crumbled, and my chest constricted as everything spiraled out of my control.
“I told you. It clouded my judgment. Especially since your feelings were mutual. I had committed to making that choice—telling him everything, even losing him—if it meant beating my father, but it wasn’t just me who’d lose him then. And honestly, if I’m being completely truthful, I don’t think I would’ve done it, in the end. Even if it had been just my feelings to consider.”
“What could you possibly have to share with him that could do so much damage?”
“That, I can explain. But I can’t do it here.”
