“Landon told me earlier.” He tried to smile. “I apologize. I should’ve led with that, but I wanted us to get away first, if possible. To enjoy a little time with you.”
My heart clenched. “I’m so sorry. I know that’s a weird thing to say because we didn’t do anything wrong, but if I’d known…”
“You didn’t know because I didn’t tell you. Or ask that of him, either. Once I saw he’d begun falling for you, I could’ve asked him then, but…”
He shook his head, glancing at the papers on his desk before holding my gaze.
“He joined the Knights because I asked. It wasn’t his choice, and he hated what I’d asked him to do. Bringing you into this, after what happened last year with the Maiden dying, asking him to train you, letting him believe I wanted you for myself.” He huffed a soft laugh. “You should’ve seen how he tore into my office that night. Largely, in defense of you.”
“Considering the way he left the Round Tableau, that surprises me.”
“Knowing thevirginityclause my father had offered as an alternative, he thought—” His brow furrowed, struggling to share after so long keeping secrets. “Quinn, I put you at risk, by having him select you instead of keeping you away from Camelot Court. I did do it to get around my father, but not for the reasons he believed that night. Not because of that.” He nudged the corner of a file on his desk, aligning it with the rest. “But I couldn’t tell him then, and I still can’t tell him everythingnow. So, he felt like he didn’t have a choice, and…” He shrugged. “I wanted him to have one, too.”
I didn’t know if it would’ve changed things, not for sure. But if Landon and I had known all that, I believed we would’ve waited. I just didn’t know how to make Kingston see that.
“I hate that you’ve been dealing with all this alone.”
His eyes lifted to mine.
Sympathy tugged my lips into a sad smile. “I’m sure it hasn’t been easy, deciding when and how to share things, but you do see the problems these secrets have created, too, right?”
“I do.”
“So…”
“I wish I could tell you I’d put everything out in the open, but there are some things I can’t tell anyone.”
I frowned, wishing I understood. “Why?”
“Don’t kill me for saying this, but you’ll see. At the doctor’s.” He nodded to the door. “I am trying to share anything I can, but I’d like to be careful with things that might impact your ability to win. At least, until we know it’s over for good. And then, if it doesn’t go our way, I can tell you everything.”
Somehow, that single statement disintegrated the desire for his secrets to ash. If having answers meant all this was over, I’d stay in the dark as long as possible.
I never thought I’d say that.
And Kingston, at least, had been more open, more forthcoming in a lot of ways since we’d come to Pendragon. I did believe he had good reasons for keeping certain secrets.
Especially since the ones he’d shared so far sucked ass.
“Okay.” I laced our fingers together. “I can live with that.”
He led me toward the door, only to shut it and guide me to a bookshelf on the far back wall. It sat to the left of his desk, and I ran a hand across the titles of his books when we reached it.
One jumped out at me. A worn, leather-bound edition ofThe Princess Bride. “You have a copy, too!”
When he pulled it off his shelf, I expected a trap door to open up a secret passageway to a hidden room. But it didn’t.
He handed the book to me, and I hugged it to my chest. “Have you read it?”
“Not fully.” His expression grew sadder. “I started it a long time ago, but I was never able to finish it.”
I squeezed his hand in an attempt to ease whatever had just crossed his mind. “Maybe one day, we can read it together. It was my dad’s favorite.”
“I know.” He smiled before answering the question in my eyes. “Landon mentioned it shortly after you got here. It’s been one of his favorites since we were young.”
With a smile on my face, I handed it back to him.
He slid it back into place on his shelf and pulled a different book out. Opening it to the back, he retrieved a small bronze key taped to the inside cover. He tucked it into his pocket, glanced around the office as if to make sure everything was in place, and then reached for my hand to leave the room.
