“That doesn’t change that she’s dead.”
He hung his head. “No, it doesn’t. But the blame for that falls on the shoulders of those who caused it. Not yours.”
I ran a hand through my hair, agitating the strands as his words needled their way under my skin.
“Nancy left. My sister is gone because of me.”
“No, Landon. She’s gone because she loved her best friend and she lost her, tragically and unexpectedly. And she couldn’t bear to live in the place that took that love from her.”
“How do you?—”
“You’re not the only one who felt guilt after Desi died. Nancy was my Maiden, but Desi—She joined The Quest because I asked. I take responsibility for that.Younever would’ve been in the position you ended up in had I not set everything in motion.”
“And you spoke to Nana after she left?”
He nodded, his head still bent.
“Why?”
Lifting his head, he locked eyes with me, but I couldn’t read the answer in his gaze.
Again, my voice echoed through my head.
You’re my best friend, Kingston. Can’t you see this is killing me?
I shook my head, my heart pounding in my ears. Palms slick with sweat, I clenched them at my sides.
We’d gotten off track.
“Forget it. That isn’t why I needed to talk to you.”
His spine went rigid, and he nodded. “I know. But it matters, Landon. Especially with everything coming. What I said toQuinn—I need to trust you with these secrets, too. The ones I’m allowed to share, at least.”
He said that again, and with my mind calmer, I heard them. “You said something about that the other day. Thatthiswasn’t what you wanted. You didn’t ask for it. What?—”
“I still can’t tell you that.”
I growled in frustration. “What can you share, then?”
“If Quinn doesn’t come forward, my father plans to accelerate the betrothal. He’s testing me. Somehow, even with all I’ve done to throw him off, he suspects I still?—”
He swore under his breath and looked away, shaking his head before bringing his eyes back to mine.
“He won’t give me two years to find a way out of this deal. It will happen as soon as The Quest ends.”
The impact of his words hit my chest.
He’d be forced to marry her. It would happen immediately. And it was my fault.
I’d failed him.
“Kingston…”
“I made a choice, Landon. I knew this was a risk.”
“But I?—”
“You couldn’t stomach it. And believe me, I do understand the feeling.” He looked away from me for the first time, his head turning back to the house. “You fell in love with her. And you acted on the information you had at the time. Information I gave you.”
