Kingston cleared his throat and smiled at the memory, and I assumed he was remembering how I’d let him rub my thigh like the horny bitch I turned out to be.
But he surprised me again. “When you showed me the bottom of your shoes. That was when I realized I’d been right about you. But also, when I felt it.”
“Felt what?”
“Something I hadn’t felt in a very long time.”
He covered our joined hands with his free one, a tremor running through it. The lines of worry on his face deepened, and he looked between me and Landon. Maybe for a sign that this would be okay.
I squeezed his hand, letting him know that, for now at least, I could live with that answer and wait for the rest. “Once you felt that, why not tell me, then? Knowing what Landon and I would have to do.”
“I’m not sure I should be telling you this right now. But, for a few reasons, I didn’t think I needed to. Once I realized it might be a possibility for you two, I still wanted to find another way around it. I just…ran out of time.”
He glanced at Landon again, and Vivian’s voice during my attack filled my head, as Kingston rubbed at his chest.
“I had to make a choice. Between telling you, telling Landon everything and interfering that way, or letting the chips fall where they may. Even though that meant—” He forced a smile.“Even though it meant I could be taken off the board, and that my plans might fail, I…”
Landon’s head popped up, the grief on his face piercing through me. “You wanted her to have a choice?”
Kingston nodded. “If I took it away, then I’d be no better than him. But it took time to figure out how—” His features tightened. “And in the end, I’m not sure I turned out to be any better, anyway. I made a move I hoped might keep our options open a little longer. A move that kept you safe, but one that also hurt you—far more than I ever intended—while buying me more time to figure a way out of the mess I created.”
He didn’t look at either of us when he spoke, dropping his eyes to his lap as he brought up the Knights’ Quorum and how he’d asked Landon to say no. That move drew suspicion of his interest away from meandlocked me into The Quest, but it created a world of other problems at the same time.
Something else bothered him, too, but I couldn’t put my finger on what it was.
“Why now?” I asked, drawing his eyes up. “If this secret was one you thought you had to keep, and there’s a risk in sharing it, why tell me now?”
“Because you were right about me that day on the lawn. I do make a habit of asking for trust, but I rarely give it in return. Knowing I was right about you and trusting you with a secret that could destroy everything I’m trying to do?” He shook his head. “They weren’t one and the same. It’s not…easy for me.”
When he put it like that, I understood his hesitance. It wasn’t like I’d walked in broadcasting my car accident, but I still had a lot to learn about Kingston. Understanding why it was so difficult for him to trust, and why these secrets needed to be protected so fiercely, I hoped would come in time.
“If this gets out, then my father might show up here. If we’re out of time, I need you to know what’s coming.”
Kingston tensed and his eyes hardened, as if the thought instantly put his body on guard. Landon stiffened, too, and stepped closer to me.
His shift in position softened Kingston’s steely gaze.“Ineedto trust you.” He held my gaze as steadfastly as he gripped my hand. “And more importantly, you deserve it.”
At that, I winced.
I hadn’t done anything wrong, but I still hated the idea of responding to Kingston’s first big show of trust by crushing his hopes and dreams for us all.
Unfortunately, though, if one of the other Ladies might come in and invoke the statute, I didn’t have another choice.
As soon as my eyes met Landon’s, he knew it. He opened his mouth to speak. To tell Kingston what we’d done.
How we’d made our choice that night.
And that, by the time we got to the Knights’ Quorum, it had already been too late.
“Kingston, I?—”
But before Landon got the truth out, Kingston’s phone beeped. A message alerted him a car had entered the estate.
He pulled up a camera and tensed. “I have to go downstairs, but I promise, we’ll talk through more of this later. I want to make sure you have all the information I can give you before the others arrive.” Kingston stood and faced Landon. “If you’re going out, go now, please. The sooner you’re back…”
“I won’t be long. Then I won’t leave her.”
Kingston glanced in my direction once more before he stared at Landon. Landon nodded, as if they’d been communicating silently, and Kingston left the room.
