But which ones?
We all hid the truth in some way, fighting quiet battles against monsters no one else could see. Was that what he’d meant? Or was it something else?
I’d learned yesterday that working together, bridging that divide, had been the only way to win in the end.
We almost failed again—I almost failed—because I hadn’t checked with my teammates before handing over the garter.And the last person I expected had saved my ass. The last person I would’ve asked for help.
Because she couldn’t be trusted.
She’d attacked me. She’d proven we were completely different andthatwas the truth.
That was the lie I’d told myself.
And it was catching up to me, as I learned I’d do whatever it took to survive. And discovered others here were fighting the same battle as well.
What other lies would catch up to us?
Some felt innocuous. Like the prison challenge and finding out Kingston had been watching the whole time, when we hadn’t known at first.
Others felt dangerous. Like the one between Max and Landon, and what the truth could lead to if it ever came out.
But I hadn’t considered the lies we told ourselves.
The secrets we kept, believing it was better that way.
“Last night, you said something…About how you thought you’d failed once. What did you mean?”
“When my father called to tell me about Elaine’s threat. I thought everything I’d done at that point had been for nothing.”
“How, though? We ended up at Pendragon together without Merle. We’ve been here getting through it.”
Kingston shook his head. “I don’t know. It’s just a feeling I had. I’m not even sure I’m right, but…I keep thinking about what he said to me on the call. About you and Landon. Even with everything I’d done to throw him off, he made it sound like he suspected that I was working against him. Not just what I feel for you and still feel for Landon, too.”
“What made you think that?”
“He said if he found out I was making moves against him, he’d take everything I loved and destroy it.”
I thought it over, trying to recall all the plans and moves Kingston had made. But I couldn’t see where he’d figure out that Kingston was working against him.
“Quinn, he had to have been bluffing. Maybe testing me to see how I reacted, because he didn’t come here right after to see for himself.” Kingston ran a hand through his hair. “And if he really knew, he would’ve been here.”
Bluffing.
What Merle said that day to Kingston in the office when I came to get the key to Pendragon. Merle…
My lie from the Maiden Appeal.
Landon’s voice ringing out inside the Round Tableau.No.
Kingston’s lies to his father.
“Quinn, talk to me.”
Secrets and lies…we held onto them to protect ourselves from being hurt again. To keep us from spiraling, because our worlds needed to fit into neat little boxes. Where everything was black and white, when the truth was that reality consisted only of shades of gray.
Nothing was that simple.
Other than the biggest lie we’d been telling ourselves.
