"Can you look at me?"
A brief pause, then Cade tilted his head up. His face was drawn, his expression guarded, but he met Tristan's eyes.
"Cade, I like being with you, watching baseball, cooking meals, and teasing you. I like how you listen, how you let me be alone with my thoughts without intruding, but stay close by in case I need you. I like how you let me scream into the void without judging, and how you put up with my incessant questions. I like how you're cute when you're grumpy, and how you can face down a guy with a gun, but you're afraid of squirrels."
"I am not afraid of squirrels!" Cade snapped.
"Okay," Tristan conceded, chuckling and thinking how adorable this terrifying man could be.
With a crooked smile, he continued. "I want to keep seeing you becauseI can't imagine going through life never again feeling the way you make me feel. I... " Tristan paused to draw in a deep breath, "I think I'm falling in love with you. I know it's crazy, that it's too soon, but I think I am."
Cade's expression suddenly sharpened, eyes popping open and brows shooting up.
"What?"
"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know."
"Tris, I... don't... " Cade stuttered, his face contorted with worry. "I don't know what to say."
"Then don't say anything. Like I said, I just wanted you to know, to put it out there. Do with it what you want."
Squinting his eyes as if presented with a difficult puzzle, Cade searched his face, opened his mouth, then snapped it shut again as his gaze lingered — unsettled, confused, searching. Closing his eyes, he inhaled a deep breath, and when they opened again, he agreed, "Okay."
"Okay, good. Maybe just let me know what you decide when this is all over, I mean, if you want."
Another nod, and feeling relieved, Tristan finally gave in to the urge and snuggled up to Cade, snaking his arms around his waist. When strong arms enveloped him and squeezed, a calmness settled over him. For a moment, just breathing in the other man's scent and feeling his warmth was enough, but then worrisome thoughts wiggled back into his consciousness.
What if, after they rescued Natalie, Cade wasn't the one assigned to guard them? Even if he was, would he and Cade even have privacy with Natalie in the safe house? What if this was the last time they were alone together like this?
What if Cade ultimately decided he didn't want him?
If this was the end, Tristan wanted to make the most of the few hours they had left. He nuzzled his face against Cade's neck, pleased to find he was the perfect height for it, and slid his lips across the skin there. The soft gasp he heard gave him courage, and he did it again, then again.
"Cade?"
"Yeah?" came the raspy response.
He tilted his head up, peering into dark eyes behind long, black lashes.
"This might be the last time... " his voice hitched, and he paused to clear his throat before continuing, "This might be the last time we're together."
A tiny wrinkle appeared between Cade's eyebrows, but his expression remained unreadable, and he didn't respond.
"So, can we... I mean, can I touch you? I want to make you feel good."
"Tris... "
"Please?"
"I don't know if that's a good idea."
Tristan's stomach clenched at the thought that Cade already wanted to put distance between them, and he started to pull away, but a strong hand cupped his face, and he instinctively leaned into the touch.
"Do you know how hard it is to say no to you, especially when you look at me like that?"
"Like what?"
"With your eyes all sad and pleading. Like a puppy."
