“Not often,” I say. “I promise. It was a one-night thing. I was on a date, he ditched me, I ran into an acquaintance in the bathroom, and, well, that was that. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Kit repeats me word for word again. I hate how easy it is to lie to her.
“You should have let me take you home.”
“You shouldn’t have left me,” I spit. Kit repeats that in a less aggressive tone.
Meggie is quiet on her end of the line. She takes a deep inhale. “You’re right. I’m glad you got home safe. I should not have left you. Bad sister move.”
“Correct.” I internally scold myself. I don’t need to be yelling at her.
“You just…you freaked me out, Lace. Your eyes…”
I purse my lips and decide to play ignorant. “What about my eyes?”
“They…they were empty.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means exactly what I said. There was nothing in them.”
Something heavy settles in the pit of my stomach with that description. It may not be much longer before that’s actually true. But she can’t know the truth, and it’s best if I don’t let on to Kit how terrified I am. I respond how I normally would to a comment like that. “I know it was unwise to do drugs, but I’m not brainless.”
She scoffs. “That’s not what I’m saying. But also, if you’re doing drugs offered to you by strangers in clubs, you are brainless. No. They were black. Pitch black.”
I snort, even though my entire being is numb, and Kit follows suit. “They were dilated. I’m sure it was a trick of the light.” I play with the hem of my T-shirt. “Megs, listen, I’m sorry, okay? I should have called you when my date ditched me and found you before I did the drugs. I made a mistake, but I’m fine. Okay? I’m all right.”
I wish her and I had some sort of secret code. A signal that I could give her to let her know that I’m not okay, but while we do have words for that, there is nothing to communicate what is actually wrong with me. How am I supposed to let her know I’m possessed by a demon and she needs to exorcise Kit without letting Kit on to it?
There’s no way, so I repeat, “I’m all right.”
“I’m still unbelievably mad at you.”
“I believe you.”
“Just…don’t let men get to you like that, okay? They’re not worth it. None of them are.”
“Well…” Kit starts to say in my voice, but I cut him off.
“You are correct. Men suck.” Kit repeats me but grumbles it.
Kit takes over and says, “I have to go. I need to get ready for work. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Fine. Have a nice day. Stop doing drugs.” She hangs up, and I let out a huge breath.
“She bought it,” I say emotionlessly.
Kit responds in the void, “You’re a terrific liar.”
“Gee, what a great and honorable skill.” My stomach churns. “I’m going back to bed.” I shuffle back to my bed and lie down under the covers again, squeezing my eyes shut like I can actually fall asleep in here.
ten
. . .
Four Years Ago
I strodetoward the conference room, precariously juggling nine coffees.Damn, I was three minutes late.
“Black coffee, black coffee, black coffee, flat white, black coffee, grande caramel oatmilk latte with a caramel drizzle, black coffee, coffee with one cream,” I recited as I set the cups around the oblong table in front of each lawyer in an office of all male lawyers, a cardboard click resounding with each one.
