Of how I shifted even though I was too young to do so. How my own howl of sorrow killed the rogue, literally breaking its heart. And how Alpha Butch used his alpha command to keep me from ever howling again at the pack sage’s recommendation.
When I finished, Taffy leaned back, her expression carefully guarded. “So, you can’t howl? Like ever?”
I nodded.
She shivered. “That’s messed up.”
“It was the only way,” I assured, dropping into the opposite chair. “People could’ve gotten hurt. My…alpha did what was best for the pack. I owe him everything.”
Taffy frowned. “Maybe you should talk to our sages? They might know more than the old sage at Thunder Moon. To be denied the right to howl and a mate is just…cruel. The Goddess would never condemn a wolf like that for something that was out of their control. Why don’t—”
“No,” I said quickly, my voice shrill with panic. “You can’t tell anyone. If they knew…it could be bad.”
She pursed her lips, glancing away. I reached out, putting a hand on the arm of her chair.
“You’re my friend, right?” I asked.
“Of course,” she assured.
“Then please, don’t say anything about this to anyone. For me,” I begged.
She hesitated a moment before finally nodding, but the look in her eyes told me this wouldn’t be the last time we discussed this.
***
“You’ll stand just to the side of my chair,” Sunny instructed as we made our way down to breakfast the next morning. ”You’ll be at my service, bringing me whatever I need, and only once I’ve taken the first bite, may you sit and eat. Am I clear?”
“Yes, Sunny,” I answered, stifling a yawn.
Taffy and I had stayed up much later than anticipated, discussing everything and nothing as she assured me friends did. She’d done most of the talking while I listened to her stories about growing up with Caelan and meeting Dillon.
I smiled. I had a friend. Someone who didn’t seem to want to use me or shun me, but who actually seemed interested in just spending time with me. It was a strange and comforting feeling.
Sunny kept talking the whole way to the dining hall, and I obediently nodded along. I had my doubts that any of this would help her gain the alpha’s attention based on what Taffy had told me about him, but who was I to tell her otherwise?
We arrived in the crowded dining hall, and I instantly tensed, doing my best to fade into the background as heads turned our way. Wolves watched us curiously as they continued to chat and eat, and I shifted uncomfortably as I followed Sunny, careful to keep my eyes low as we crossed the room.
I wasn’t comfortable with all the attention. The spotlight was Sunny’s. I was supposed to be invisible.
Seen but not heard. Noticed but not acknowledged. A shadow to my sister’s light as my name suggests.
She led us to a round table near the front of the room. A couple of she-wolves our age were huddled together, chatting about the choosing ritual over their plates.
“Fetch my breakfast,” Sunny commanded, snapping her fingers as I pulled out her chair.
She sat, and I turned, making my way toward the buffet table. I could feel the weight of everyone’s gaze as I gathered a little bit of everything onto a plate, and I fought the urge to squirm as I added a bowl of fruit to the tray.
Ignore them. Breathe and just focus on the task at hand.
I returned, setting the plate in front of Sunny and placing her napkin in her lap. I laid out her silverware and poured her a glass of water before finally stepping back and clasping my hands in front of me as I waited for her next command.
“Shade,” she bid, her voice sickeningly sweet. “My juice?” “Of course, right away,” I offered, hurrying back to the buffet.
The she-wolves on the other side of the table shot Sunny a disdainful look, but I doubted my sister noticed. She was too busy acting like she was already the pack’s new luna.
I was on my way back when the scent of coffee, vanilla, and musk wafted through the room. I inhaled it greedily, delighting in how it helped calm my nerves.
It was gone by the time I reached our table, fading from the air almost as quickly as it had arrived. I felt a sudden emptiness at its loss.
