His name hovered in the air around her, and Poppy felt it pass through her body like an electric current. She’d known, on some logical level, that AJ was going to be at the wedding. For some reason, she’d just assumed, like last time, he’d fly in the day of and leave the next day. But that was not the case. AJ was parked outside the very bridal shop where she was, which meant he was less than fifty yards from her.
He’d called her and texted her several times over the two weeks after he returned to Virginia. Six voicemails and six texts, to be exact, but she hadn’t returned any of his calls or messages. He had another woman in his home gathering her things. He lived across the country. In one night, Poppy had developed feelings for him that were stronger than she had ever felt for…well, any other man she’d ever been with. All of that was messy. She didn’t want messy.
So why did the idea of seeing him again have her entire body buzzing with excited nerves and something perilously close to hope? Not that it mattered because she doubted he’d want anything to do with her. And if he didn’t, she couldn’t blame him.
But if he did…
The “Welcome to Hope Falls” sign “Population 6,942” was on his left and AJ wondered if that number would soon be six thousand nine hundred and forty-three. Beauty surrounded him in the form of snow-dusted pine trees passing in rhythmicintervals. He couldn’t help but marvel at the majesty of it all when he caught sight of a set of white-tailed deer frozen by the roadside, their glassy eyes shining directly at him before they vanished into underbrush. One second they were there, the next they were gone. It felt like a metaphor for his life recently. Nothing permanent, everything temporary.
The past eight weeks had been a fog of life-altering decisions. One significant being putting his home up for sale. He hadn’t told anyone yet, not Frankie, his mother or Niko. The second was his career. Officially, he was on leave until the new year. Unofficially, he’d already made up his mind, no reenlistment. No more DOD contracts, no more deployment rotations. The choice should have come with a sense of relief, but it brought only silence, a vacuum in which he felt his future knock around like loose change.
He’d lived his life having five-year, ten-year, and twenty-year plans. Now, he didn’t even have a one-year plan. His skill set was in high demand in the private sector, so employment was not an issue. He was leaning towards contract work. He’d been in contact with Adam Dorsey, who lived in Hope Falls.
Adam offered him a job, and he was going to be meeting with him while he was in town for Frankie’s wedding. AJ had always planned on retiring in Hope Falls, of course, that was when Papou was alive. He’d been extremely close to his grandfather. He accepted AJ for who he was, despite not understanding him in the slightest, or at least not relating to him.
Niko and Papou were alike in nearly every aspect, they were cut from the same cloth: the big personalities, the gregarious laughter, the elite athletic abilities, the ease with which they occupied space in the world, and both the life of any party. On fishing trips, Papou and Niko bonded over the San Francisco Giants and the 49ers, their chosen Bay Area teams, and Niko’slove life. AJ’s twin would fill Papou in on the rotating line-up of women in his life.
AJ didn’t talk, he’d gone on fishing trips and literally not said one word, but that was okay. Unlike other people in his life, his grandfather didn’t mistake his silence for rudeness or think AJ felt left out. He just let him be, which was exactly what he needed. There was a wordless understanding between them, a fact that felt as rare and precious as a blue-ribbon trout, that he just wanted to tune the rest of the world—his brother mainly—out and just be in nature. That was AJ’s idea of rest and relaxation.
That is why Hope Falls had always represented happiness and acceptance to AJ. Now that Papou was gone, he wondered if it still would. He’d only been back once since losing him, and that visit hadn’t counted. It was skewed because he had spent the first night with Poppy in Pine Ridge and the second in the hospital with his mom while his, stepdad, recovered from surgery. Both were variants polluting his constant.
That wouldn’t be the case now. Hopefully there would be no more emergencies, and Poppy made it clear she wanted nothing to do with him. He’d called and messaged her more times than his pride would like to admit and had not gotten a single response. Unfortunately for him, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her. His brain was still fixated on her face, her scent, her voice, her touch, and her taste.
He'd tried so hard to scrub her from his memory, but she was seared into it. His body actually ached when he thought about her. He felt ill. If it weren’t for her, moving to Hope Falls would be a much easier decision. But being across the country from her and not getting on a plane to show up on her doorstep and find out why she wasn’t returning his calls and messages had been difficult, if all he had to do was hop in his car, he wasn’t sure how he’d stop himself.
This weekend he knew he’d see her. She was obviously going to be at Liam and Frankie’s wedding since she was Liam’s baby sister. And it wouldn’t just be a weekend. AJ Airbnb’d a home through the holidays to test out how he would feel if he became a permanent resident of Hope Falls.
He hoped that once he saw her again, whatever spell he was under would be broken. That the fixation he had on her would subside, and he’d be able to move on with his life. If not, he may have to have a lobotomy. He was only half joking. He’d gotten stuck on a few things before that had taken over his entire life and become unhealthy, but never a person. Whatever this was he was feeling, it had to lessen, there was no way he could actually feel more.
Now, driving down Main Street, nostalgia welled in him. Sue Ann’s Café with its bright striped awning, Two Scoops Ice Cream, where Papou and Yaya used to take him and Niko every Saturday during the summer for malts, the wooden sidewalks, old-fashioned lampposts, the walking bridge over the river that ran beside downtown. He let the window down just enough so that he could inhale the cold air until his lungs burned, just to confirm that Hope Falls was still real. The air was thinner and colder than he expected, tinged with wood smoke and the faint chemical tang of de-icer.
As much as he wished he could go take a shower and decompress, he’d promised Yaya that he’d visit her as soon as he got into town, since he hadn’t done so during his short trip for his mom’s wedding. He didn’t take full responsibility since the groom had a heart attack and the family had to spend the day after the wedding in the hospital, which was the day he’d planned on spending with Yaya. She wasn’t one to hear excuses, though, so he would be getting her visit out of the way upon crossing the city limits.
AJ wasn’t sentimental, but he was, at heart, loyal to a fault. He’d made the promise knowing she would hold him to it, and she did. A text had pinged his phone as soon as he landed in Sacramento with instructions to pick her up at the new bridal store on Main. He replied that he’d text her when he was outside. As much as he loved his sister, he did not want to go into a bridal shop after already being on a plane and in two airports.
Which is why when he pulled into a parking space in front of Ivory and Lace Bridal Boutique, he messaged her to let her know he was there. When he saw Yaya walking towards the entrance of the shop, he got out of the SUV and walked to the passenger side and opened the door.
“My boy, my boy, my boy!” Yaya exclaimed as she patted his cheeks and kissed each one. “My handsome, handsome, handsome boy! My most handsome, handsome, handsome grandson!”
Yaya thought it was hilarious to refer to AJ as her most handsome grandson since he and Niko were twins. Niko claimed that she was ‘confused’ and meant him, Yaya told him she was not confused. AJ knew she only said it to mess with Niko because Niko cared, and AJ did not. AJ thought it was unkind to his cousins, who were also her grandsons, but Yaya never had any issues having favorites. She felt like it was “the way of the world.”
The drive to Yaya’s was very short, less than five minutes, and Yaya talked the entire time about the bridal appointment and Frankie’s dress. AJ was doing his best not to listen. He honestly did not want that information stored in his head.
As they turned onto his grandparent’s street, it hit him that Papou would not be tinkering in his garage or outside working on his jeep. He wouldn’t be sitting on his porch smoking a cigar at night or sneaking cookies from the kitchen when he thought Yaya was asleep in her chair. It was the first time AJ had beento their home since he’d passed. He hadn’t expected to feel emotional about the visit, but his chest ached and he felt queasy.
When he parked in the driveway, he noticed that there was a brand new front door. He didn’t mention it, in case it was a sore subject. He assumed she would tell him the story since she loved to tell stories. He walked around and helped Yaya out of the SUV, and as they made their way up the steps, he noticed that the front door wasn’t the only thing that was new, there was a camera above it.
He wondered if this was the influence of her boyfriend, Mr. Arthur Santino. They walked inside, and AJ had no sooner shut the door than he was being yelled at. “Come, come, come!”
AJ said a quick hello to herhealthycat Garfield, while he was petting the tabby, who could stand to lose at least ten pounds, when he noticed there was a camera in the front room and motion sensors in the hallway. When he walked into the kitchen, he saw that she had a brand new stove, it was state-of-the-art with fail-safe shut off. There was also a camera in the kitchen, motion sensors, and a brand-new back door. Both new doors were able to be accessed remotely so someone could check on their phone if they were locked or not.
“Sit, sit, sit!" Yaya had already donned her apron and was filling a bowl with stew.
AJ wasn’t hungry at all, but he knew better than to say that to Yaya. She would not take no for an answer. It was pointless to resist when he knew he’d end up eating it anyway.
“That’s a nice stove.”
“Yes. Liam, he do all this for me.”
