I want kids. So does Ethan.
For a moment it hits me how much this thing between us may not actually work. How would it work? What if Dane doesn’t want kids? If he does, would he want something like that with us? Would Ethan even be okay sharing me so deeply?
I know I’m overthinking but I suppose these are things you have to think about when there are more than just two.
“I always thought I was just cool Uncle material. But lately…” he pauses, exhaling a deep breath, “yeah, I want kids.”
I feel relieved by his answer. Although, I don’t know if that means he would want that solely with one woman or whether he’d want to see what that looked like with us.
As I peer over at Ethan he seems relieved, too. Like Dane answered exactly like he wanted him to.
“It’s getting late,” Ethan says, glancing at his watch.
“I want to stay with Mimi.”
I somehow manage to sign with Stella still in my arms.
“We should let them have some time together.” That probably kills Ethan to say because he knows I’ll be disappointed but he's right. “We’ll come back for a visit tomorrow.”
I nod as Seamus comes back and I gently transition Stella in his arms.
“Thank you for driving us here and staying. For everything,” Seamus says before walking back over to Mimi and we finally make our way out of the hospital.
“She’s so cute,”I can’t help but sign excitedly as we get in the car.
“I’ve never seen a just-born baby and I can’t believe how small they are,” Dane adds.
Ethan remains quiet as he checks his phone that just dinged with a notification.
It’s six in the morning on New Year's day. I squint, confused as to who would be texting him at such an odd time.
His entire body tenses as his brows pinch together as his eyes oscillate over his screen.
“What’s wrong?”
He drops his phone, clicking the screen dark then places it in his pocket.
“Nothing, it’s just my dad. He wants me to meet him at the office in the morning.” My eyes peer over to Dane in the backseat and we share the same thought. The same thing we’ve been telling Ethan since the beginning of the school year. His father is pushing him too hard, putting too many demands on him and I’m getting tired of how much he lets him run this life.
“As in this morning?It’s a holiday. You don’t need to do everything he wants.”
“You don’t understand,” he spits back quickly.
As usual he ignores our concerned looks.
“Let’s go home and get some sleep.” His answer is curt and not assuring at all, even as he attempts a tight-lipped smile.
It takes fifteen minutes for us to get home from the hospital. Another ten minutes to strip down, ignoring any night time ritual of teeth brushing and face washing, and crawl into bed.
Dane runs his hands over my back, pulling me closer to him but I cup his face and shake my head with a silent gesture that he doesn’t need to ‘take care of me’ like we planned after the club.
I’m beyond tired and we all need sleep. I see his compliance as he blinks slowly and smiles back.
Kissing me, he whispers over my lips, “Goodnight, Poe.”
I look to my right as Ethan kisses my shoulder and I dip my forehead to meet his cheek. “Goodnight, my love.”
And two hours later, when I roll over, his side of the bed is empty and cold, leaving Dane and I alone again without him while his dad continues to run him into the ground.
