I toss my head back and smile, shaking my head.
“Dane.”
The playful look on his face falls away instantly and he steps back, running his hands through his hair.
“At yoga huh?” he replies, rounding the island as he pourshimself a cup of coffee. “How is one-date Dane?” His question is snarky and I narrow my eyes at him.
His eyes look up at me and I know even he’s ashamed of the way he’s talking. I swear to god these two men and their overly complicated feelings for each other will be the death of me.
“You know just as well as I do that he is not what his reputation says.”
He remains silent as he sips his coffee.
I know he’s felt bad about what happened. What was supposed to be a playful revenge joke turned into something that brought out the real emotions we’ve all been suppressing. This week has weighed on him just as much as it weighed on me, but when you look at the bones of it, Dane’s right. The most complicated factor is that we’re his students. But that’s not a permanent situation.
“We need to talk about this.”I push my hands into the marble island and shimmy my butt over to the other side to meet him.
“Will you just admit you like him?”
He doesn’t say anything, just takes another sip of his coffee.
“Okay fine. You don’t have to admit it because I know you do. And I know you’re just as curious about what a relationship with him could look like. He’s been clear about what he wants and if we just lay low through the school year and see where things go, I think that’s a fair thing to try…for all of us.”
“There are so many factors that don’t make sense, Hannah,” he replies, using my name as a note of seriousness.
“That’s just what you’re telling yourself because you don’t know how to handle your feelings. And you’re worried about what your dad and other people will think.”
“Geez, don’t sugarcoat anything for me,” he says sarcastically.
“But, I’m right.”I lift my chin, because I know I am.
“Yeah, yeah. You just like the attention of two really hotdudes who are totally fucking desperate for you.” He pulls me flush with his body.
I shrug with a smile. “Glad you’re finally admitting he’s hot.”
“Oh, you shut it, woman.” He kisses me again and I know he’s feeling calmer now than he was before.
“Let’s see where this can go? Tell him how we feel?”
He glances down at his bare feet then looks back up at me and nods, slowly.
“Good. Because we’re meeting him at Ford Field for the game in an hour so we should probably get dressed.”
42
ETHAN
The mix of emotions that have been flooding through me since Hannah got home is overwhelming. The entire week I’ve had to stop myself from calling him, texting him, and stopping him on campus to apologize.
But my pride wouldn’t let me.
I’m worried about the fact that he’s our professor but Hannah’s right, that’s only temporary. I just don’t understand how any of this can work. It doesn’t make any sense. It’s always just been me and Hannah and I have no idea what mixing Dane into this means for us. What kind of future is that for him, for us?
Does he want kids? We do, eventually. What will people say? I don’t even know how I would handle the three-way relationship, much less people being curious about my sexuality.
I’ve never had to question myself before or address it. So, I have no idea what the hell I would say.
Surprisingly, when Christian saw me and Dane coming out of the bathroom at the ballpark that day, I wasn’t embarrassed or ashamed. I was…proud. Dane wanted me, so much that he had to lock me in the bathroom to get my attention.
