I stand before Aiden’s building, at the security entrance, and I can’t even text him. My hand is gripped around my phone, but I’m unable to move. I feel sick.
Every time I think about flipping my phone over to text him, my hand begins to shake. His heart was cut open when Madison left him because she couldn’t live in his hockey world. I promised myself I wouldn’t put Aiden through that if he trusted me with his heart.
A huge lump forms in my throat. Yet here I am, another woman who is going to end things with him because of hockey.
But this time, I’m doing it tosavethe career he loves so much. The sport he’s sacrificed so much for. I know Aiden will argue with me about it, but Ethan was not only blunt tonight. He was truthful. We’ve been selling ourselves a fantasy in our weeks together. Ethan made it abundantly clear that I will destroy Aiden’s career here in Miami if we continue to date. Dad will never understand it or forgive his alternate captain for being so dishonest.
Dad will hate him,I think, blinking back tears. He’ll make him pay. He’ll get rid of him, no matter how irrational it is or what I have to say about it, and he’ll view Aiden with distrust.
A disappointment.
That will destroy Aiden more than anything else, more than his growing feelings for me. He’s worked so hard to begood. A good man. A good leader. A rule follower and an example. All of that will be ripped away from him.
I can’t let that happen. I won’t.
No matter what it does to my heart.
I stare at the door to his building for a long time, unable to move. It’s a beautiful evening here in Florida, and a gentle breeze from the bay drifts across me, blowing my hair around. I inhale the salty air and listen to the palm trees rustling overhead, the white Christmas lights wrapped around them reflected on the screen in my phone.
It’s a far cry from the day that iguana hit me in the head. From the day Aiden rushed to my side, that stricken look in his face as he tried to figure out what happened to me.
It was the look of a man who was falling in love with me.
But when I look at him tonight? I’m going to see the look of a man who will feel betrayed. Hurt.
And utterly destroyed by the knife I’m going to stick into his heart.
I’m going to lose Aiden,I think as anguish ripples through me.I’m going to lose the man I was falling in love with.
With trembling fingers, I finally manage to text him that I’m here. He replies that he will let me in, and seconds later, the door clicks open. I enter with a sense of dread gripping me from head to toe. All I can hope for is that Aiden will understand that I’m doing this for him. Because I know how much he values his reputation. I know how much he loves the game.
And I refuse to be the one thing to ruin everything for him.
My heart is hammering against my ribs as I enter the elevator. I keep trying to force the tears away, but I can’t. This is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It rips me apart knowing how badly I’m going to hurt him.
It’s the one thing that is worse than the hurt I’m going to feel when this is done. I have to give up Aiden. I have to give up the man I have this incredible connection with, this man who sees me and my talents and believes I can do things I had long put away in my heart. He’s protective and thoughtful. I love his sense of humor, I love the sexual chemistry between us, I love how he’s always thinking of me.
He’s my person,I think.Except I’m the worst person for him.
The elevator opens, and I feel sick by the time I reach his door. I rest my forehead against it, which gives me a flash of Aiden pressing his forehead to mine as he likes to do. A sweet, intimate gesture that speaks volumes about how he feels about me.
How can I do this? How can I let him go?
I lift my head, the door blurring through my tears. You let someone go when it is the best thing for them. When you love them enough to do it.
I gasp as the feeling rips through me.
I love him.
I love his smile. The way he listens to me when I talk. How he brings me a matcha and shows me holiday lights. I love his kind soul and much he loves my chinchillas. How I feel alive in a way I’ve never known when he touches me.
That’s why I have to do this. I’ll do it because I love him that much.
I force myself to rap on the door, and within seconds I hear Milo barking and Aiden turning the lock. Bile rises in my throat. He opens the door, and as soon as I see him, his face dissolves through my tears.
Aiden is smiling, that shock of blondish-brown hair hanging down over his forehead, his hand gripping the door. He’sdressed casually in a navy T-shirt and gray sweatpants, his feet bare, the scent of soap lingering on his skin.
I fight back the nausea roiling my stomach. How can I do this? How can I break up with Aiden when all I want to do is love him?
