But staring at Ethan is a reality check.
He heard my story. Let me speak until I had no further words to say. He took a few minutes to digest it, and it didn’t matter.
Tears prick my eyes.
It didn’t matter,my brain repeats.And Aiden is going to be torn apart.
“If you were Dad,” I ask, my voice thick, “would you trade Aiden for something like this?”
Ethan doesn’t hesitate. “Yes. After I stripped the A off his chest. This is unforgivable, Scarlett. You’re off-limits to that entire team. Aidenknowsthis. And you don’t think this will make his reputation trash around the league? Because it will get out. All this respect he’s worked so hard for?Gone.”
I’m going to be sick. I knew this could be the reality, I knew it, but I somehow thought I could make my family see differently.Or I told myself Aiden could, with time, move past this. Win my dad over with how he loved me.
Dad will humiliate him and trade him, I think, panic clawing at my chest. Not because my dad is a horrible man, but because of stupid hockey code. Pride. This vision that I’m this little girl who needs to be protected.
If I couldn’t make Ethan see me as an adult, there’s no way Mom and Dad will.
If I stay with Aiden, I’m going to ruin him. We’ll be separated. Aiden will be shipped off to a new city, and when he’s on that new team, with no respect, no alternate captaincy, will I be worth it?
No,I think, my heart wrenching.He will hate me for what I did to him.
“Well,” I say, my voice shaking, “thank you for your honesty.”
Ethan winces. I shift my gaze straight ahead, the Christmas lights of the neighborhood blurring in my eyes as I try to blink the tears away.
“Scarlett, I’m really sorry,” he says, and I hear the pain in his voice. “But I’ve always been honest with you, even when it hurts.”
I nod, not trusting my voice to speak. Silence fills the car once again.
I force the tears away and swallow hard. Then I clear my throat. “I’d better get you back to the hotel,” I say abruptly. “You do have a game tomorrow.”
“Are you okay?”
No. I’m not okay. I’m falling in love with Aiden, and it’s all slipping through my fingers now.
I don’t answer him. I pull away from the curb, going on autopilot back to the Hotel Fredrico, where professional teams always stay when they play a Miami team. I swing through the circular drive, pulling right up to the front doors, where a lavishChristmas display of evergreens and twinkling white lights welcomes those coming to the property.
“Scar, I’m—”
“I think it’s best if you just go,” I say simply.
“What are you going to do?”
I turn and stare at Ethan, and see his face is etched with concern. “I think you know what I’m going to do,” I say, my voice strained and strangely quiet to my own ears.
“I’m sorry.”
I don’t say anything.
Ethan exhales loudly and gets out of the car. I don’t even wait to watch him enter the hotel. I swing my car around, gripping the steering wheel as I navigate my way out of the circular drive, as if I can squeeze it tight enough to gather up the strength and courage to do what I need to do right now.
I need to see Aiden.
And I need to let him go.
Chapter Twenty-Three
I don’t know how I can do this.
