“Maybe,” I hear him say.
When she returns to the kitchen, her eyes are wide, but she’s still chewing. Even I’m stunned.
Patterson lied—something I didn’t want to have to do.
“Oh my God.” Addison is practically vibrating with excitement. “This is happening. You two are actually giving it another shot.”
“It’s very complicated,” I manage, which is the truest thing I’ve said all morning.
“No way. I knew you two clearly still had feelings for each other. And now he’s hiding in your bathroom after spending the night.” She grabs my hands. “This is romantic as hell.”
I want to crawl out of my skin. “It’s just sex.”
“Is it ever really just sex?” She squeezes my fingers.
“Addison, yes. You literally told me to find a fling.”
“I did,” she tells me. “But you two almost spent the rest of your lives together. This is big.” She lowers her voice even though the bathroom is down the hall.
I think about Patterson’s hands on my body twenty minutes ago, the way he whispered, “Let go,” against my mouth.
“Things aren’t always what they seem.”
The guilt is suffocating.
She grabs her coffee and heads for the door, pausing with her hand on the knob. “I’m going to let you two finish what you started. Bye, Jamie! If you hurt my best friend, I’ll murder you myself!”
“Okay! Love you!” Patterson says.
“Love you, Jamie! Love you too, Keke!” she nearly squeals. “Please,pleasebe my sister-in-law. I’m not giving up hope.”
The door clicks shut behind her, and I stand frozen in my kitchen, listening to her footsteps fade down the hallway.
Patterson emerges from the bathroom, fully dressed, running a hand through his hair. “That was?—”
“Stupid.” I sink onto my couch. “You should’veneverpretended to be Jameson.”
“If she’d opened that door, she’d have known the truth.”
“Maybe we should tell her,” I whisper. “I trust her with my life.”
“I don’t want any outside pressure while we’re still figuring this out,” he says, moving to crouch down in front of me. “Look at me.”
I meet his eyes.
“You love playing this game. Tell me you don’t.”
I swallow hard. “I do. I know we’re going to deal with the consequences of this. I really hope we survive it all.”
“I do, too, because we might not.”
I appreciate that he doesn’t try to sugarcoat it.
I think about waking up in his arms, about how he looked at me when he said he’d never wanted anyone enough to risk everything. I think about the years I spent wanting him close. And now that I have that, I don’t want to lose it. This man makes me so unapologetically selfish.
“Fuck it,” I say. “But if this blows up, I’m blaming you.”
“Fair.” He leans forward and kisses my forehead. “So, we keep going. One lie at a time.”
