“You agreed we should come back. That we should try.”
He swallows, his hand holding mine just a little tighter before letting go. “It seemed possible when we were so far away from this. But now? Shit, I don’t know if I could free a fucking penny from my father’s grasp if he wanted to keep hold of it.”
Then he takes a step back, still watching me, waiting for my response. But I don’t know what to say. He knows all my arguments, the plans, the hopes we have riding on this. Whatever there is to say has already been said.
Now, all we have left is to survive.
The back door slams, and he turns, trudging back to the house as RJ and Jansen come out.
“Phone time!” Jansen sings.
“Will you get it all…” I start.
RJ grins. “I’ll get everything set up before we come back.” He taps his shoulder bag, the crappy laptop we used in Mexico peeking out. We know that one doesn’t have any malware, at least.
He and Jansen leave together, crawling into Jansen’s ancient sedan, and a shiver runs through me. Back to the buddy system. Back to careful words and careful actions. Back to a home that feels foreign and heavy.
I rush from the warm sunshine and up the stairs, my knuckles rapping on Walker’s door before I can stop myself. As the door creaks open, I throw myself into his arms, my nose buried in his neck, needing his arms around me more than anything right now.
He scoops me up without words and carries me to his bed, curling me into him as his hand strokes my back like I’m a skittish horse. “I’ve got you,” he whispers, my breaths uneven.
This isn’t the way I thought I’d feel coming back. I thought I was stronger than this. Maybe this was a terrible plan. God, it probably was. “Is it too late to leave?” I murmur into his chest.
He squeezes me tighter before fiddling with his old phone, somehow wrangling the brick into flooding the room with music to muffle our conversation, before tossing it a safe distance away. “You can do this. We can do this.”
“What if we can’t?”
He pulls back, searching my face for something—probably the confidence I misplaced the second I walked in the door. “I will do whatever I need to do to keep you safe, Clara. To make space for your happiness. If you say run, I’ll be there. But I know you’ve got this. From the first moment you pretended to be my muse, I couldn’t doubt that you were made for this life. Fear is normal. Respect it. But don’t let it own you. You still haven’t earned your crown, princess. Prove to me you’re the queen I know you are.”
I twist my lips into something smile-shaped, pressing my lips to his. “I don’t think you’re supposed to end a pep talk with a challenge.”
“No? Because you look a lot more fired up now that I gave it.”
I huff out a tiny laugh.
The quiet grows heavy. “How long do you think you have?” he asks.
I shrug. “Every minute is a gift right now.”
“In that case, I want you as ready for battle as you can be.”
“What are you suggesting?”
He pulls me to my feet, dragging me from the room. “Good surprises only, princess. You deserve all the good surprises.”
Chapter 42
Walker
Drawing Clara a bath seems like so little, but the second she folds herself into the hot water with a little groan, I know I made the right decision. Living by the beach in an RV might sound like some people’s dreams, but one bathroom, five people, and no tub means this is a luxury she’s been missing for months.
And as hard as it is to turn away from all that golden skin, I do, because the other thing that RV didn’t have was a whole ass kitchen. Unfortunately, we haven’t gone grocery shopping yet—I’ll have to send RJ and Jansen out with a list after they get back with the phones. Which leaves me to figure out what Icanmake using whatever is still here.
Finding an unopened bag of coffee in the pantry, I start the pot brewing. It’s probably stale, but it’s better than nothing. And while there’s no milk, the white chocolate syrup Clara got from Emma is still sealed, so I add that to the cup after checking tomake sure it’s still good. The last thing she needs to start this project is food poisoning.
I bring the drink to her, and her grateful grin has my heart in my throat. “Love you,” I say, kissing her, taking the risk to speak truth, loudly and without reservations, despite the likely surveillance.
“I love you, too.” Her dark eyes are glassy, and I can’t have that.
