Walker takes one for the team. “Jay, how are you feeling, actually, right now?”
“Like a million bees are hovering under my skin and they’re going to sting me any moment. But if I stop moving, the bees win, and I’m afraid I’ll pass out from all their little stingers and never wake up.”
This said with no realization of how bonkers he sounds.
“Tell the therapist that, and they’ll gladly believe you’re a prime candidate as a new patient.”
Jansen’s lips twist as he stares at Walker upside down. “Are you saying I’m crazy?”
“No, man. But you’re also not doing well right now. And you know that, so no getting pissy about it.”
I sigh, not wanting to deal with the emotional burden of a pissed and antsy Jansen and a slightly annoyed, if caring, Walker. I just want to get this off my list. Who knows if the therapist will even help Trips, but it’s better than doing nothing. Like my dad, he needs to put in the work before I can trust him again. And this is one way to do it.
“That’s settled then. We’re filling out a patient intake form. Hopefully, he gets back to us soon.”
The three of us work together to fill it out, Walker pushing Jay to tell us exactly what’s been going on with him so I can plop that in the form as honestly as possible. And the more Jay talks, the more worried looks Walker and I are left sneaking each other.
He’s barely holding it together. Without stealing, he’s going to unravel quickly. And while I have no idea what Trips’ father is planning, I don’t see the immediate future as one with a whole lot of time for Jansen and Clara to get up close and personal—which has apparently been his other coping mechanism.
If he tumbles, we’re fucked.
Maybe this therapist will help Jansen for real. He needs it. More than I’d realized.
Once the form’s submitted, we sit in awkward silence, only saved by the ding of the cookies. Walker goes to pull the pan, and I lean over to Jansen. “You know we’re here if you need anything, right?”
“Yeah. Of course. Say, next time you teach Clara self-defense, maybe I could go? That’ll burn off some of my energy, right?”
“I mean, it should, but you said you’ve been struggling with tai chi right now, too. It’s not the same, but similar headspace, you know?”
“Yeah. But with Clara there, I’ll have to focus, so I won’t make a fool of myself.”
Somehow, I don’t think this’ll work as well as he wishes it would. But we’ll try. “Then yeah, come along next time.”
He slides so his feet are over the back of the couch and his head flops onto the ground. “Thanks. Movie?”
Walker brings us a plate of sweet goodness. And as much as I want to bury myself in my work, I’m staying.
None of us are happy when Clara’s in danger, and right now, that’s exactly where she is. The least I can do is suffer with them. Because we’re all in this together.
All fucked.
All together.
Chapter 26
Clara
Trips leaves, and whatever barrier I had between him and his family vanishes. Trevor slinks up beside me, his politician’s grin like gold-plated plastic. “Hello, little sister.”
“I’m not your sister. But you have a perfectly fine one right over there,” I say, pointing at Mattie.
Mattie, meanwhile, is still engaged in whatever argument she’s having with her mom, but her eyes flash with something cautious as she watches her brother approach me.
Trevor’s smile drops for a moment, petulant as only a spoiled son of a wealthy man can be. Then, the smile’s back. “True. But I already know all about her. I’d rather knowallabout you.”
“Not much to know,” I say, this time catching the attention of Trips’ stepmother, intention and fear competing as she watches me talk to her eldest stepson.
There are so many meaningful glances being tossed around the room that I’d need a primer to even begin to understand them. They’re all important, that much I can tell. But otherwise? Trips wasn’t lying when he said there were novels worth of information I’d need to survive here.
