But soon. I’ll do it soon.
And as I spy a familiar blue sports car parked illegally, Aiden Johnson ducking between students like he owns the sidewalk, I know exactly who I’m going to target.
Chapter 68
RJ
Between getting Jansen somewhere safe and my class interfering with the drop, we missed Wednesday and Thursday’s opportunities to get Clara what she needs. Walker doesn’t trust he can get close enough to do it, as he looks the same as last year.
Trips’ father had to have briefed the security on us. It would have been stupid if he hadn’t, and that man isn’t dumb.
So, we’re left with three days of waiting and worrying about the consequences of taking care of Jansen when Clara needs us. Monday, I should be able to grab her before her criminal law class. Hopefully it isn’t too late.
Walker said that Clara was moving better yesterday, but that she still wasn’t herself. And the silence on the chat board I made for us is loud. Now that she’s in class, she should have accessto the internet. Ninety percent of everything you need for every course is kept there, so she should have reached out by now.
Same with Trips. Although, we assumed his family would find him more of a risk, and he’d have more restrictions than she would.
Both are apparently on lockdown, Clara’s black and blue, and her parents just temporarily relocated to her uncle’s house—yes, I’m watching them, too, now that I know her dad came to Walker—this all tells me that while the plan is going well on our side, it isn’t on theirs.
Although, we’re down a man, so maybe it’s not going well here either.
Walker and I fill up Friday with a swim and a trip to the climbing gym before heading to the hospital for visiting hours. Jansen meets us in a room with dim lighting, nature sounds, and a forest mural on one wall. He doesn’t look much better than he did the day before but even having him here feels like a win. Evie and his mom are driving down tonight.
“Hey man,” I say, tugging him in for a hug, a smile uncomfortable on my face.
He huffs out a breath, slumping onto the couch cross-legged. “You don’t have to pretend you’re not worried, RJ.”
Walker sits across from him. “How are you doing today?”
He shrugs. “They think I’ll have to go inpatient for a bit while they try different meds. Apparently, there can be major side effects.”
“What kind of side effects?” I ask.
“The jumping off the top of a tower kind of side effects.”
I share a look with Walker. “So, how do you feel about the risk of side effects?”
Whatever had been keeping Jansen upright seems to fail him, and he flops onto his back, staring at the fake forest paintedbeside us. “Mostly nothing, but a little annoyed. I missed seeing Clara today, and as a reward, I might go different crazy.”
“Do they think the meds might help?” Walker asks, ignoring whatever negative spiral he seems to be caught in.
Jansen shrugs. “I mean, I’ll try them. But apparently, if they treat my lows, they have to treat my highs, and once those get settled, they can try to treat my ADHD, and if that works out, well, all the drugs might end up stealing part of me that is just, well, me.”
Walker swallows. “But you’ll try?”
“Yeah. I won’t know until I try.” He clears his throat. “How’s Fluffington?”
“He misses you,” I say, remembering waking at 3 a.m. suffocating on his fur, happy for the change in subject.
“They said I might have to take the semester off. If I do, I’m thinking I’ll build him a cat wall. I saw one on TV last night, and it looked cool. Do you think Trips would be okay with that?”
“Yeah, Jay, Trips will be fine with that,” Walker says, neither of us knowing if it’s true.
We spend the next hour talking about nothing important, pretending everything’s fine while Jansen drops in and out of the conversation, his brain unable to focus for long.
As we leave with a promise to come the next day and help him move to a long-term facility, I can’t help but feel like we’re abandoning him. It might be exactly what he needs, but having already lost Trips and Clara, unable to keep track of them, unable to keep them safe, leaving yet another member of our team without an easy way to keep in contact feels like a failure.
Monday morning, I wait outside of Clara’s classroom for a full hour before she’s due for her undergrad Criminal Law class, just so I can’t miss her.
