They had come a long way since they left Hilos, but he was ready to face whatever came next with her at his side.
Beginning with a letter.
They both looked at the sofa table, where the rectangular box his father left him waited with an envelope on top.
“I am afraid to open it,” Cassiel confessed. “What if I can’t withstand it again?”
“Loss is particular that way,” Dyna said, placing a hand over his heart. “There are days where it leaves you defeated on the ground, and other days where it’s a passing guest. The pain is always there, but our lives change and expand around it. One day, you may hear something, see something, or smell something that will remind you of them. And for a moment, you will grieve all over again. When those days happen...” She cupped his cheek. “Come to me.”
Cassiel smiled wistfully. “So you may either embrace me or attack me, I assume.”
“Which one do you prefer right now?” Dyna asked, and the vow she had written on his arm tingled.
It really wasn’t a question when they both needed the same thing.
He tightened his arms around her, and she held him tightly, too. There was warmth in that embrace and pure, unconditional love that promised she would be right there to catch him when he fell.
“I may not always have the words to pull you from the dark, but I will always be here to sit with you in it.”
And that was enough to give him the courage he needed to take the first step of living with this loss.
“I think I am ready to open it now…”
“Would you like me to give you privacy?”
Cassiel shook his head. He took a breath and another, before he could make himself open the envelope and read his father’s last words.
My son,
If you’re reading this letter, it means I have left you again, and I am so sorry for that.
I mourn all the days lost when I sent you away to Hermon. It was done to protect you from harm, yet I failed to protect you from the harm I caused.
I made so many mistakes, but please know I loved you through all of them.
Forgive me for not being there when you needed me. For I wish I had been there when you felt alone. I wish I had been there when you soared into the sky for the first time. I wish for so many things I cannot have now.
My greatest wish is for you not to fear tomorrow.
The past was painful, yet the future does not have to be. It may bear moments of pain, as well as moments of joy. Each one you will gather until at the end of your life, you are full of them. Living is the most arduous thing souls must do, but it’s worth it.
I promise you it’s worth it.
Whatever path you take, no matter what comes or what failures you face, know that I have great faith in you. Fly, Cassiel. Lead, and all else will follow. When we see each other again, I expect to hear about the marvelous life you lived.
With all the love in the world, your father,
Yoel Soaraway
The words on the page blurred together by the time Cassiel finished reading the last line. He closed his wet eyes and simply breathed.
This was one of those moments. It glowed there in his chest as he came to accept this was the way of life. It was filled with happiness and with pain. With loved ones who may not stay forever. But the impression of them, and the light they brought, was left behind in the map of his memories.
There would come a time to move on. A time to let go.
But only of the pain. Not of those moments.
Cassiel would gather them all and remember each one.
