Her face crumbled, and she took him into her arms, rocking him to sleep as she hummed. Dyna went still at the sound. She recognized it.
It was the same tune the Druid whistled, and it was the roots of the song Cassiel played on his flute.
Silent tears rolled down Elia’s face. It was all she could do but hold him close to her heart. Dyna cried as she listened to a mother gently hum to her son. His mother held him, knowing it would be for the last time, and in that heartrending song was the sound of love and grief.
Cassiel’s memories grew darker after she left.
He wandered the cold halls of the Hilos castle searching for something he couldn’t find. Yoel wandered them, too. But the absence of Elia rendered him a ghost, and he seemed to have forgotten about his son.
Dyna found Cassiel sitting on his balcony, staring at the horizon day after day, season after season. And the light in his eyes dimmed.
He had lost both parents.
Abandoned by one.
Ignored by the other.
Terrorized by the ones who did acknowledge his existence. She could feel the hurt left by the hollowness in his heart.
I was so angry with him.Cassiel’s voice filtered around her.For so long. I blamed him for my mother leaving. For the way they treated me. I blamed him for everything.
Memories flashed around her of Cassiel much older. A fourteen, perhaps. Yoel came to realize what he had done to his son and tried to mend their relationship. But Cassiel turned his back on his father each time.
I wanted nothing to do with him.
She appeared in Hermon during the winter. Cassiel stood in the courtyard, watching Yoel fly away.Whenever he came to visit me, I would elude him until he left. Then I would stand here and blame him for abandoning me once again.
The dream smoke dropped her in Skelling Rise, within the manor. Cassiel held him in his arms as Yoel faded away into light. All that remained was the blood on his hands.
Everything darkened, leaving him alone on his knees on that bloodied floor.
When I finally let go of my anger, he was gone before I could say I was sorry. Before I could say goodbye. His body didn’t stay long enough to grow cold. To even accept that it happened. It didn’t feel real. So I made it not real. Because I still … I still needed him.
She nodded, her lip quivering. Yes, he had still needed his father. As she had still needed hers.
Dyna tried to approach him, but her foot went through the floor, and she was falling among the stars. She landed in a dark corridor. Little Cassiel ran past her, and she followed, calling his name. But she lost sight of him, and the world seemed to stretch no matter how fast she ran.
Everyone I love leaves. They die because of me. My father. My mother. You.
I’m still here!She called out.Cassiel, I’m here!
Dyna at last reached the end, and she found herself in a garden with an Azure tree. Hilos again.
The sound of distant laughter lured her to a scene with Elia holding up a baby boy against the sun, laughing as she nuzzled his little face. Yoel was with them, watching with a smile not yet burdened by it all.
Of all people, she deserved happiness.
Cassiel, a six-year-old boy again, now sat in the garden by himself. He stared at the empty spot where his family used to be.Before I knew it, everyone was gone, and I was left in the silence.His head lowered, dark hair curtaining his face.There will never be a day where we will be together again. We will never be happy like that again … because of me. And I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t bear to remember what I had done to them. I was alone, and I didn’t know what I lived for anymore.
Dyna went to him and knelt in front of that little boy. She reached for his cheek, and it was solid against her palm. Tears rolled down his face as he looked up at her. “‘You are only a memory I wish to forget’. I said those words to him … and then I killed him.”
“Oh, no. You didn’t, Cassiel. You didn’t.” Dyna pulled him into her arms. His entire body shook with sobs, and he clutched onto her with trembling arms.
“They’re gone.” The broken words tumbled out of him. “No one is home.”
As he cried in her arms like a lost child, Dyna finally understood why Cassiel left. Because he had the utter, mind-numbing fear she would die because of him, too. And no part of him could ever endure that. It tore at her heart, and her tears joined his.
Closing her eyes, Dyna let her shield fall.
