Her pulse hammered in her throat, and she curled her fingers tightly in her palms because all she wanted was to touch him and fall into his arms, but she couldn’t.
“I don’t need to prove anything to you. Gods, I don’t want to speak about this anymore. I already said everything that needed to be said.”
Dyna stormed for the glass doors and went outside into the gardens. Her heels crunched on the graveled path as she wandered in no particular direction until she found a stone bench enclosed in bushes of dynalyas. The cool evening breeze cooled her skin. Birds chirped in the coming twilight as she breathed in the scent of dynalyas. The garden was full of them, gleaming like rubies.
Cassiel walked around the bench and kneeled in front of her. That was always him. He never stood above her. Always eye to eye. “You asked me if it hurt,” he murmured. “It hurts more knowing how much I hurt you … and even more when I make you cry.” He reached up, and she didn’t flinch away as he wiped the tears from her cheek. “I’m so sorry, Dyna. I will say it to you every day for the rest of my life.”
On his face were countless days of torment. Of shame. Punishment. She saw the racking guilt and bone-deep agony and stark regret. That’s what pained her the most. That despite everything that had happened, that he was still choosing to suffer right here—for her.
As the sun lowered, a light shone from his pocket.
“What is that?”
Cassiel drew out her crystal necklace.
Dyna stared at it in disbelief. The last time she’d seen it had been when she threw it into the lake at Skelling Rise. “Where did you get that?”
His silver eyes dimmed a little, though he hid it with a soft smile. “Sowmya retrieved it … for safekeeping.” He looked down at the glowing crystal cradled in his palm. “I broke so many promises to you. I beg you to allow me to keep this one.”
The gentle plea made her eyes sting. He made it too difficult to hold on to her anger when he treated her this way. A part of her couldn't help wanting to bridge the gap between them.
Shifting around, Dyna lifted her hair and exposed her neck to the cool air. Cassiel sat on the bench beside her. The chain gently grazed her neck as his hands fastened it at her nape. Her skin tingled at the graze of his fingers. It reminded her of Hermon as an indulgent warmth faintly flooded through her body at his proximity. He was so close she felt his every movement. When Cassiel finished, they remained still, simply breathing in the sweet air and each other.
“Thank you…” he whispered.
“For what?”
He expelled a soft sigh, and his breath drifted down her shoulders, making her shiver. There was no need to say it. He thanked her for allowing this small reprieve from her resentment. For allowing him to be here with her.
Dyna looked up and found him close. The wind picked up, carrying the hint of rain and his scent that made her heart race. A deep ache of longing sank through her. He was inexplicably beautiful, an entity not of this world. Oddly enough, the feeling was still there, a mix of familiarity and love and awe that dove deep.
For a moment, she lost herself in the depths of silver. His gaze silently begged her to close the remaining distance between them. To take the kiss he so desperately wanted to give her.
She wanted it.
She wanted so much to go back to who they were.
But her heart was still bruised from the last time she trusted him with it.
Dyna looked away. “I need to go.”
She moved from the bench and stepped onto the garden path.
Cassiel caught her wrist. “Don’t go to him,” he pleaded softly. He stepped closer, his dark hair tangled across his eyes and dripping with rain. Long lashes framed his eyes, the flecks in them gleaming in the last rays of the sun. “Please don’t run from me anymore.”
“I need to … because it’s easier than admitting that I…”
Cassiel shifted closer and wrapped her in the warmth of his wings. He cupped her cheek, stroking her lips with his thumb.“Ani mitga’ah’ge’ah elayich.”
Dyna’s vision blurred with tears, and she shook her head. He knew speaking to her so lovingly in his language always made her cry. “I miss you, too, Cassiel. All the time. But my heart is too broken.”
He took her hand and placed it over the beating one in his chest. “Then take mine. Do with it as you wish. Tear it apart or shatter it to dust if that will right my wrongs. Without you, I have no use for it anyway.”
His soft voice was so raw, so painfully open, she couldn’t move away.
“Don’t tell me those words when I am so angry with you,” Dyna’s voice caught.
Her heart longed to give in. She wanted to reach out and give him everything. But she was terrified. If he hurt her again, she may not recover from it this time. But his eyes grew pained, and she realized that he was as afraid as she was.
