“I want to believe somehow I can undo what I have done. But I am now on the other side of her shield of our dying bond, left in an empty void with no end. Fix this?” He retorted sardonically at his idiocy. “I am so far past delusional. Perhaps I am the mad one…”
There was a reason why he chose to do this, yet nothing made sense to him anymore. He swallowed back a thick knot of regret. The one that formed in his throat every time he pictured her face doused in tears.
Cassiel pressed on his chest, feeling as if his lungs had collapsed. He had ruined something precious, something that could never be repaired. He had shattered the delicate trust and love that had been the foundation of their marriage in the most devastating way.
Every waking moment was filled with the pain of their broken bond. It made him feel as though his life had been a waste. He had dreaded that his world would snuff out her light, but it was he who did it.
Maybe Malakel was right about him. He destroyed everything he touched.
A gentle pat fell on his back. “Life is a road of lessons, and you stand before another,” Netanel said. “Relationships are seldom easy, and love can reduce even the wisest to lunacy. However, I have the utmost faith in you.”
Cassiel wasn’t sure how to accept this rare comfort. “Why?”
“Because I know who you are and who you are meant to be.”
Smirking wryly, he sat up. “You’re only saying that to make me feel better.”
The spy chuckled. “Of course.”
Cassiel looked out to the town where the other half of his soul was and spotted a pair of red wings flying in the distance. “Have you spoken with Sowmya?”
“She ignores me.” Netanel shrugged. “I don’t think she approves of my presence here.”
Because Cassiel had chosen a pureblood instead of her as his spy, but he needed Sowmya to protect Dyna when he couldn’t.
“Well, I will return to my patrols. I overheard your decision to join the convoy. I will fly ahead to scout the roads.”
Netanel backed up a step, but Cassiel grabbed the end of his cloak. “Thank you … for being here.”
Even if it was only out of duty. At least there was someone here who didn’t despise him.
The spy lifted his head enough to expose the warm smile crossing his face. “I am with you. Every step of the way.”
“Do I have your word?” He had lost so much in his life. There wasn’t much else he could lose now without losing more of himself.
Netanel patted his arm. “For as long as you need me.”
The assurance in that statement eased his anxiety, only for embarrassment to replace it. He wasn’t a child anymore.
Cassiel waved him off. “Go on. Be careful.”
“I always am.” Netanel spread his white wings as he turned to go. “Oh, and perhaps you should ask yourself why Dynalya keeps her shield up on the bond. For if she truly holds no affection for you, there would be no reason to hide.”
Then his spy winked and flew away into the sky.
Cassiel was left to stare blankly after him, too stunned to do anything else.
CHAPTER 51
Dynalya
Dyna didn’t care where they went. The only thing she wanted now was to flee the pressure in her chest. Raiden must have sensed it because he took her away from the estate without question. The road led to a stone bridge, and the sound of pounding hooves beat against her heartbeat. It was soon behind them, and she exhaled out a sigh of relief as they raced toward the meadow plains of Sellav with no sign of pursuit.
“Where would you like to go, my lady?” Raiden asked.
“Somewhere I can breathe.”
After a pause, he said, “I know the perfect place.”
