She offered him a polite smile. He meant well, but their sympathy only reminded her of its absence. Spending all of winter without feelingthe warmth of Essence in her veins had been like learning how to walk with only one leg.
Dyna glanced up at the manor. Melting snow left rivulets on the windowpanes. With the feathers she found, it gave her the means to bring down the barrier, but only temporarily. Best to save them for when she truly needed it.
“Shall we go wash up?” Lucenna asked her. “It will be dinner soon.”
“Go ahead. I will meet you in a bit.”
While Lucenna headed inside, Dyna retrieved her quiver and bow and moved on to target practice. She felt Rawn watching her, and she sighed.
“Lord Norrlen, I can feel you thinking again.” She aimed and let loose. The arrow zoomed away and hit the center of the target perfectly. “What is on your mind?”
“Pardon. I wanted to ask how you were feeling.”
“I’m fine.” She shot another arrow, and it plunked next to the first.
“My lady, your hands are bleeding.”
“That happens when training.”
This was nothing. After everything, she had to make herself strong. Strong enough not to be left behind again.
“It will do well to rest. You’ve torn the calluses on your fingers. It must sting.”
“The ability to endure pain is a warrior’s true weapon.” She nocked another arrow. “Master that, and nothing will ever hurt you.”
“Who told you that?”
Dyna paused, then shot the arrow. “How about we discuss what you truly wanted to ask, Lord Norrlen?”
Rawn’s hand gently rested over her grasp on the bow, and she allowed him to take it from her. From a pocket at his belt, he drew out bandages and began wrapping her bloodied fingers. “The question is the same. How are you?”
She watched him work, not wanting to look into those sympathetic eyes. “I am fine. I don’t think about him anymore, if that is your worry. I have moved on.”
“Have you? Or have you found a way not to think about him anymore?” Rawn looked at her knowingly, and it only made her more annoyed.
Throwing herself into training was the only thing keeping her standing now. She needed it. “Does it matter?”
He fastened the bandages in place. “The state of your heart matters, my lady. Ignoring it does not heal you.”
She pulled her hand away. “Why bring this up now?”
Rawn’s brow furrowed. “I know it is a difficult subject to speak of, but I am concerned about what will happen once we leave this place. Your life could still be in danger. While in Skelling Rise, we are hidden, but only because Cassiel?—”
Dyna flinched.
Her entire body spasmed at the sound of his name. It had not been said aloud since he left. Hearing it now had wrenched the air out of her.
“Do not ever speak his name again,” she said tightly.
Rawn dipped his head. “Forgive me…”
The silence filled the space between them, and her eyes burned with anger and humiliation. With a mere group of syllables, he had proven she wasn’t as well as she claimed. Her nightmares came sparingly now, but only because she worked herself to exhaustion and limited how many hours she slept.
She could onlypretendhere.
“No, I am sorry, Lord Norrlen.” Dyna rubbed her face and sighed. “When we leave…?”
Rawn cleared his throat. “When we leave, we will face many uncertainties. Tarn. The bounties. And most importantly, the Realms. He … declared your death to his people. If they learn that you are alive…”
