“Have you told him?” he asked flatly.
She fell silent.
Rawn shut his eyes tight, and the back of his eyes stung. “Have you seen a healer?”
Anon had placed a spell on her. One examination would confirm if she had been cursed as well.
“I have,” Aerina admitted quietly, and her voice held the answer to his fears. In as little as two words, it fully struck him the magnitude of his failure. “Rawn, will you look at me?”
He had to swallow a few times before he could reply. “I cannot.”
“Why?”
“Allowing myself such an indulgence is what led to me now carrying what remains of my sister in a box, Princess.”
Rawn’s reply had come out sharper than he intended. It wasn’t Aerina he was angry with, but with himself. He let his guard down that night. If he had been on alert, instead of behaving like an infatuated fool, Nisa would still be alive.
“You are not to blame, Rawn.”
He clenched his teeth. “Please, I cannot bear that lie. We both know I am.”
“Merely because we enjoyed a night for ourselves? Prince Anon was already waiting for me. They had hidden in the woods. Whether they caught me while I-I had to—” She stuttered. “Relieve myself—or if they ambushed us on the road, the confrontation was inevitable.”
“You were alone because I was not on duty as I should have been.”
Her voice grew pained. “If you wish to blame someone, blame me. I didn’t wake anyone to accompany me, and it led to my abduction?—”
“No.” He wouldn’t let her take that from him.
“Rawn.” Aerina took his arm. “Please look at me.”
He inhaled sharply at the touch of her hand and stepped back.
“Why?” she asked desperately.
Because he loved her.
Because it was wrong.
Because he needed to let go.
“Do you know … I have watched you as often as you have watched me?” Aerina whispered.
Rawn stilled.
“You were a secret in my heart. I never dared to speak it aloud, knowing it could never be, but Nisa saw right through me.” She laughed weakly. It was a breathy sound, and he fought back the choke of tears. He felt them burning behind his eyes at the sting gathering in his throat. Her confession left him astonished. To think this whole time, she had felt the same. “The night we danced was the first night I was not a Princess of Greenwood. I was only Aerina. But I am called back to my gilded cage. I am to marry soon and secure my brother’s position. I will do my duty and leave my home … if there is nothing for me here.”
Rawn lifted his head and met her wet blue eyes. Aerina looked beautiful in a cream gown, her blonde hair woven up and adorned with a gold circlet encrusted with emerald gems.
Hope swam in her gaze as she searched his blank face that was empty of any emotion. She took a step forward. “Rawn?—”
He stepped back and fixed his gaze on a point past her shoulder. “It was only a dance, Princess.”
“You don’t mean that…” Her hands shook. “My heart aches whenever I see your face. I have dreamed of you since we were children, praying for a future where we could be. Please tell me you feel the same for me. That I have lived in your thoughts as you have lived in mine.”
Oh, how Rawn had wished to hear such words in the past. But they condemned him now.
Swallowing, he forced himself to say, “There is nothing I can offer you but my undying fealty, Princess. I wish you every happiness in your marriage with Lord Karheim.”
