Yavi slid off the table and straightened her dress, giving him a short nod.
“Good. A babe wouldn’t do now, would it?” Von kissed her and started packing their belongings. He made quick work of it as he told her a short version of Bouvier’s rescue and the encounter with the Guardians. When he stripped the last cot, he realized Yavi hadn’t moved. She was staring at the ground. “What are you doing? We’re in a rush, love.”
A tear spilled from her lashes, trailing to her chin.
“Yavi.” Von rushed back to her. “What is it? Was I too rough? Did I hurt you?” Guilt struck him. He’d been rabid as an animal and had been too lost to think—
“No.” She wiped her cheek. “No, it’s not that.”
He brushed the dark tendrils of hair back from her cheeks, caressing his thumb over those satin pink lips he adored. “What is it?”
Yavi curled her hands over her heart. “Would it be so terrible if we had a child?”
A new sort of guilt hit him, along with an echo of pain. Once upon a time, before his life became what it was, he had imagined having a house of his own, set upon the land he would cultivate with his family. But that was an old dream from another lifetime he had forgotten. When Yavi came into his life, he dared to keep a small sliver of that dream of having someone to love, but he wasn’t foolish enough to reach for more. As long as they remained chained, their secret marriage and stolen moments were all they could have.
Von closed his eyes, resting his forehead against hers. “You know we cannot. If Tarn learned of it …”
Gods.He didn’t want to think of what Tarn would do to her. To them.
It was against slave edict for life-servants to have any life-mates or children. Their sole priority was always to the master. Von had heard of several cases where other masters either disposed of the babe at birth or disposed of the mother while she was carrying, if not the father as well.
Tarn would probably do the same.
“If we were in a world where we were both free of chains,” she said, “would you want a child?”
Where they were both free.
A dark, mocking thought reminded him that the Azure King had abolished slavery. He was an Azure citizen, and Yavi was his servant, so it applied to them both. But Von didn’t speak the news aloud. He couldn’t bring himself to tell her when he knew it couldn’t be. The God of Urn’s law superseded the law of men, didn’t it?
Tarn would never allow it.
“In another world, we’re happy and free.” He cupped her face. “We have a home on a hill full of laughter and love and farmland to pass on to our five children.”
“Five?” She laughed weakly, at last smiling even as her tears spilled over his fingers. “Mighty ambitious of you.”
He nodded, completely serious. “Four boys with the countenance of their father and the intelligence of their mother. They will grow tall and strong, so they may watch over their little sister, who will come as a surprise we didn’t expect, but a precious gift that made us complete.”
Von could picture it. He could see his family, hear their laughter, and feel their joy. The possibility of that future felt so real—and out of his reach.
Yavi’s face crumbled, and she hugged him tightly, shuddering with quiet sobs. “What a beautiful dream.”
And that was all it would ever be.
A beautiful dream.
Chapter 24
Dynalya
Everything was bright. A stark contrast to the darkness that had haunted her, which faded quickly with the chill in her bones. The light was so strong it filtered through Dyna’s eyelids. She groaned and tried to move her arm to cover her face, but she couldn’t find the strength to lift it. Everything was heavy and tender, her bones feeling brittle. The thought summoned images of the bleached white mountain constructed of skulls with a black storm spiraling at the peak. Dyna had climbed and climbed, but no matter how many bones she scaled, she never reached the top.
“Ah, you’re awake,” someone said.
It was a voice she didn’t recognize. One made by the sound of tinkling bells. Something as soft as silk fluttered against her cheek.
“What happened?” she rasped.
“You were at Death’s Gate,” the voice said. “I brought you here before you crossed the threshold.”
