He would never cross through Heaven’s Gate.
Cassiel pointed his face at the clear sky, closing his eyes against the morning sunlight as he absorbedits gentle warmth. Another passing gust ruffled his hair and feathers. Maybe it didn’t matter that he’d killed them. He was a Nephilim. His kind wasn’t permitted in Elyon’s presence, whether he led a righteous life or not.
“Prince Cassiel.”
He flinched, and his eyes flew open with a mixture of surprise and aggravation.
“Pardon, I did not intend to startle you.” Rawn kneeled beside him and removed the stopper from his waterskin before plunging it into the current to fill.
“How can you slink upon others without making so much as a sound?” Cassiel asked in annoyance.
“Stealth has been ingrained in me. I do it unawares now.”
“Is that what they teach you in the army?”
“The training elves must surpass to enlist in the army is quite arduous. My father strictly raised me in all aspects of becoming an able-bodied soldier.” Rawn met and held his gaze. “Yet there was one thing he could not prepare me for.”
“And what is that?”
“The burden of taking lives.”
Cassiel’s smirk dropped. “Do not make the mistake of thinking you know me.” He dipped his hand in the stream, letting the current run between his fingers. “I had to kill those Raiders. You fight, or you die. I chose not to die.”
But even he heard faint disquiet in his voice. He was trying to convince himself, trying to justify what he had done. Because if it was wrong, then where did that leave him?
“You’re a general, Lord Norrlen. Surely you must have fought during the last war between Greenwood and Red Highland. A soldier’s livelihood goes hand in hand with defending and killing.”
Rawn nodded. “It is a double-edged sword I know all too well.”
“The world was never meant to be full of death. There was none in time beyond the First Age until the God of Shadows unleashed wickedness in the Mortal Realm, along with his demons.” Cassiel brushed his fingers over the single sapphire decoratingEsh Zayin’slanget and traced the golden crossguard honed into the shape of open wings. The crest of Hilos glinted on the pommel. “Elyoncreated the Seraphim to protect the worlds of men. The Celestials must also abide by this holy law. By spilling human blood, I have gone against the natural order he established.”
“You did what you must,” Rawn said. “Accept that. The remorse you feel stems from taking that which was given, but you did not take with ill intent.”
“Ill intent.” Cassiel laughed sardonically. “You were there. You witnessed the slaughter, yet you believe I had no ill intent? At that moment, rage outweighed the fear for my own life. They stole Dyna from me, and I could not forgive them for that. I was content to cut them down, even if I did not get what I wanted. The worst of it is, if given the choice again, I would resort to watching them all burn. What does that say of me?”
That was the question that haunted him. In his rage, he lost himself in the divine fire as he slew each one, rendering them into nothing but clouds of ash. His only focus was reaching Dyna, and it didn’t matter how many he killed or tortured to do it. The need to protect her was far greater, even if it sullied his soul.
“I say many would share the same sentiment.” Rawn rose to his feet. “Should it have been my wife and son in danger, nothing would have stopped me either.”
Wife.
That’s what Dyna was, even if he didn’t want to admit it. Well, not for much longer, the fates willing. Her life wouldn’t be sullied, too. He would find a way to free her of him.
“There is darkness in all of our hearts, Prince Cassiel. It only consumes us if we allow it.”
He nearly laughed at that. “My heart is already black and rotten, Lord Norrlen. I’m surprised it beats at all.”
The useless thing died inside of him a long time ago, and he was better off for it.
“Where’s Dyna?” Zev asked as he approached.
“Lady Dyna and Lady Lucenna have gone into the woods.”
Zev turned to Cassiel angrily. “You allowed them to go?”
“I tried to stop her, but she demanded to go alone. In case it may have escaped your attention, Dyna can be stubborn.” Cassiel crossed his arms and added, “Worry not. She is escorted by the witch. And ahorse.”
“I trust they are capable,” Rawn said.
