Once they had settled their camp for the evening, Dyna changed out of her leathers and wandered off into the grove. The wet grass clung to the maroon skirts of her dress as she strolled through the trees. She chose the willow she and Cassiel had hidden under with the book of Jökull as an excuse to read, but her mind couldn’t focus. Cassiel hadn’t returned, and the bond was silent. She leaned her head against the willow’s trunk, watching as the rain gently fell, pattering in the nearby stream. Lush autumn flowers adorned the grove in clusters of yellow, orange, and purples. They were the last of the blooms before the land would be coated in ice come winter.
How long did it take until Sunnëva and Jökull were no longer at odds? Dyna sighed as she caressed the sigil of the Ice Phoenix on the cover. She opened it to the last pages of the story and came to the illustration of two enormous trees. One was white with lush gold leaves, and the other black and barren. She settled against the willow as she read the text on the following page.
The great Ice Phoenix and his queen left behind two seeds. King Jedënkull, a descendant of Jökull, planted in them in the garden of Old Tanzanite Keep during the Second Age. The seeds grew into two majestic trees. Any that should eat their fruit would gain the power of the Ice Phoenix over life and death. One was thus named the Tree of the—
Her chest thrummed, the bond signaling Cassiel’s approach. The flutter of his wings reached her as he passed over the grove and landed in the clearing. He stood outside the willow’s canopy but didn’t come any closer. The rain’s tempo increased, prattling on the ground. She waited for him to drop his wall, to at least speak, and stop running. But maybe she had been the one to run first.
Dyna lowered the book and stepped out from beneath the branches. He paced beside the willow, his wings twitching restlessly as if he would fly away again at any moment.
“Cassiel.”
“I’m trying to understand it,” he said, raking a hand through his wet hair. “But I cannot. This cannot be. It should not be. I was never meant to bond with anyone.”
“Is this why you avoid me?” she asked, deciding to finally uncover everything. “Because you don’t want me?”
Cassiel stopped in place. “Dyna…”
“Please.” The rain nearly swallowed her whisper. “Tell me the truth.”
Dyna couldn’t stand it if he continued to lie to her. She needed to know. He said he cared for her. But was that where it ended? If all they had was friendship, she would accept it and give herself some closure. She would smile for him, even as she broke inside. The wishes for more nights in his arms, for the cradle of his hand, for his gentle touch on her lips, would be a secret kept locked away in a hidden corner in her heart. It would lie beside her other secret—the one of wanting him so much it hurt.
“It would be easy to say I avoid you to unburden you with my presence.” Cassiel faced the grove. “But the gods know I’m a coward. I avoid you so I will not see your despair at what I have done to you. I imprisoned you in this marriage by which I cannot set you free.” His voice hardened, even as his deep well of misery leaked into her. “I turn away from you, for that is all I know. That is how I protect myself. Even now, I do not dare see your face. I cannot when I know you want nothing to do with me, for how could you?”
She shook her head. “What do you mean?”
The rain pelted him, dripping from his wings. “You would have me say it? As if it is not clear.”
“To me, it isn’t.”
What could be so wrong with him that she wouldn’t want him? But the silence dragged as she waited for Cassiel’s answer. If he couldn’t say it, then … maybe he could show her.
Dyna closed her eyes and pictured the wall layered with steel and fire she’d kept on her end of the bond. Extinguishing the flames, she let her wall fall. She searched for the strand that connected them, and it hummed within her, lighting into a pathway that led to him. Cassiel stiffened, but he didn’t resist. His door was made of stone, bared by iron gates, ensnared with thorns. She reached into the bond, tugging and untangling one by one, unbarring the end that he kept so tightly closed.
When she finally got through, he let her crack open his door. So much convulsed inside of him in a tangled web. It took searching and sorting, separating each roiling emotion. And there it was, hidden under the mass of embarrassment and anger—under the equally arduous yearning that made her breath hitch. The reason he had kept the bond from her. He was afraid of what she thought of him, of the disgust she may feel being married to a Nephilim.
Dyna took Cassiel’s face, and he allowed her to turn it, at last bringing his silver eyes to meet hers. He looked at her with a broken expression at war with itself. There was so much she wanted, but if she could only have one wish, it would be for him to see himself through her eyes. Inhaling a breath, she opened her heart and showed him everything. Her longing. Her thoughts of him. How beautiful he was. To her, he was as perfect and as wondrous as the stars.
“Why?” he asked, sounding almost angry—but it was his incredulity that swarmed her. His disbelief. He stepped back, and she dropped her hands. “Why me? I deserve your scorn for all I have done. For what I am.”
When had she started to care for him so much? There were times when they didn’t understand each other and times that they hurt each other. But little by little, they had found a way to slowly show a part of themselves that was vulnerable. Maybe the bond made it impossible to hide how they truly felt sometimes, and at other times, it muddled their communication. Yearning hidden behind worry and confusion. Desire hidden behind anger and frustration.
Honesty was the most difficult when it left them so exposed. But with each passing day, she had given herself more to him, wanting to break through the stone wall around his heart—by giving him hers.
“Stupid Celestial. I never cared about what you are. None of that ever mattered to me. I was angry that you kept the Blood Bond a secret. But I told you before, nothing you say would ever make me turn my back on you.” Her face flushed with warmth as her eyes misted. “I’ve known since my heart leaped at the first sight of you.”
He stood motionless. His stare so intense, her pulse quickened as she laid everything bare. It was those eyes that scattered her thoughts, as though the moon had gifted stars for each one. The breeze ruffled his hair and wings that’d been given the color of the night, lustrous black and deep blue.
“Cassiel, to me, you are everything.” Breath trembling, Dyna closed her eyes. “From dawn until dusk, my heart and mind are filled with you. It will always be you.”
Chapter 55
Cassiel
Never could Cassiel have foreseen himself standing here, with the most beautiful, reckless, impetuous little human. With hair like the rising dawn on the horizon and eyes like spring. A silly, incredible girl who had stumbled into his life by some strange magic, making him wish for another path which he hadn’t thought possible. Where he wished to perceive the world through her. Perhaps it would be enough to remain by her side, for he couldn’t imagine doing anything else. Both nights he’d held her close had felt so completely and utterly right.
“From the moment I caught you out of the sky, my life changed,” Cassiel said, swallowing the lump in his throat. “It was not much of a life. I had grown used to the empty bleakness of it. Of the same colorless days. I did not care for another fate, for what more could there be? Then you came along and made me want more than I ever should. The world is full of things I hate and do not need, but you…” He heaved a breath with the weight of the admission he hadn’t allowed himself to see. “I need you.”
He needed her like the earth needed the sun. She was the light that cast away all that was dark. If the world could be made right, it was only because he may have found what he needed after all.
