Zev turned away.
“I’m not finished,” Cassiel said.
“I am.”
“Get back here!”
Zev growled. “I’ll take no orders from you, Your Highness.”
He kept going, needing to escape the rage and turmoil bubbling inside of him. The Madness cackled. Claws caressed his mind, digging into his being. It would never stop unless he made it stop.
“Are you so determined to die?” Cassiel shouted.
“Yes!” Zev roared.
And there it was. The ugly confession of it all. He stared at nothing as the world blurred around him. He had sought death. Reached for its shroud but was refused. His life had become a constant well of emptiness, for the loss of his father became the loss of him.
“Yes.” His vision blurred.
He was a monster. He had to die. There was no other way.
“Zev, I misspoke—”
He shook his head. “The Madness seeks to take me, Cassiel. I fear I’ll not be able to resist much longer. If I succumb, I ask you to end my life.”
“What?” he breathed.
Zev faced him. “When I look into my future, I find only darkness. I cannot be allowed to live should that happen. I’ll lose all sense of myself and become the feral beast you thought me to be.”
Cassiel grew serious at the realization it was a genuine request. “Do not ask this of me.”
Zev grabbed Cassiel and shook him. “For once in your life, do something selfless. If not for me, then for Dyna’s sake. I’ll stop seeking to end my life and go as far as I can on this journey if you swear to put a knife through my heart when the time comes. Do it before I hurt her or someone else. Swear you will protect Dyna. From me and the world when I’m gone.” He choked on a sob as he laid his forehead on Cassiel’s shoulder. “Please.”
The broken plea settled between them, laden with the grave request. There was no one else he could trust with this.
“I will.” Cassiel rested a hand on his back. “You have my word.”
* * *
When Zev returned to camp late at night, everyone was asleep except Rawn. He rode Fair in a distant field, steering the Elvish stallion through an imaginary obstacle course as they leaped and bounded. They moved with a swift elegance that only came with a horse and rider that truly knew each other. Zev strolled over, following the light of the moon.
Rawn circled the field and drew Fair to a stop when he noticed him. He wiped the sweat from his forehead. “Oh, pardon, did I disturb you?”
Zev blinked, taken back by the question until he understood Rawn meant the sound of the cantering, as they both had sensitive hearing. “Oh, no. I was awake. And you? Couldn’t sleep?”
“Occasionally, I like to ride under the night sky. It helps to settle my spirit.” Rawn patted the horse’s glistening neck. “His too.”
Fair nickered, ears folding back as he eyed Zev.
“I don’t think he likes me.”
Rawn chuckled. “He senses your wolf and is not sure what to make of it yet.”
Odd. Zev never thought he would have something in common with a horse.
Rawn dismounted and released the reins, allowing Fair to trot away.
“Does he understand when you speak to him?” Zev asked.
