“It’s okay.”The librarian holds her hands up in surrender, but her expression is sympathetic.“We’re closing.”
“Sorry,” I respond and rub my eyes.I hadn’t meant to fall asleep.
“Do you have somewhere to go?”
“Yeah,” I mumble.
“All right, honey.”She steps away, going back to her desk at the front.
I’ve been coming here most afternoons.People don’t want paper job applications anymore, and without a phone or laptop, the library was my only choice.Now I’m spending almost all of my time here.I was hoping to get a response back from one of the millions of places I’ve put in a job application, but it’s been crickets.All that money spent on fancy prep schools for nothing.
Grabbing my coat, I put it on along with my gloves before grabbing my bag to head out.This area of town is nice, but I can’t linger for too long before a shop owner is hurrying me along.Luckily the library isn’t far from the gym, but it’s only a matter of time before I get busted there too.
Normally the girls’ locker room is empty, but last time there were two people going at it while I stood shamelessly on a toilet.Thankfully whoever the guy was went off quickly, and the girl didn’t sound real happy about it.Hopefully that means they won’t be back.It’s going to be below freezing tonight, and this is my only option.
Every time I use the key fob to get in, I hold my breath, praying that it works.When I scan it and the light turns green, I’m flooded with relief.Pulling up my hood, I let it fall partly over my eyes as I enter the gym.
The smell of fresh lemon lingers in the air.This place might have tons of men, but they make sure it doesn’t stink.The whole building is nice and clean, which makes it more bearable to sleep here.I can toss down a yoga mat and use a few towels for a pillow.It’s not ideal, but it feels safe when I’m in here at night.They lock the gym down tight, and I doubt I could even get out if I wanted to.Being locked in means I’ll have to wait for them to open in the morning before I can go, but it’s worth not having to sleep on the street.
I give a chin nod as I pass the front desk, but the man there isn’t paying attention.I assume it’s because he’s getting things ready to close soon, except when I pass by the main part of the gym, there appears to be more people than normal.There are a bunch of guys in street clothes lingering around and talking instead of working out.
Something is different tonight, but I’m not sure what that is.I debate if I should turn around and leave and try to find somewhere else to sleep, but my fingers are so cold.By the time I catch the bus and make it across town, I know for sure the shelter would be full.
Not having much of a choice, I enter the ladies locker room and use it like I’m a real customer.I put my bag in one of the lockers before taking a shower.I take my time and let the hot water flush out the cold that goes bone deep.Eventually, I have to force myself to turn it off, knowing that they are closing soon and they’ll likely do a quick check in here before they lock up for the night.They never check inside the lockers, so I can leave my things stuffed in one before I head to one of the bathroom stalls to wait.I’m going to build up muscle strength in my legs from sitting perched for so long.
Time ticks away, and no one ever opens the locker room door to do a check.I peer through the crack in the stall and check the clock on the wall.It’s now thirty minutes past closing, but I’m not sure the gym is actually closed.I tilt my head at what sounds like people murmuring when the locker room door pops open.
I stay quiet as I watch a couple of guys come in.They ramble on about a fight and how much money is on the line.One guy is bouncing on his feet and punching the air.
“I’m ready, man,” the guy bouncing says.He’s pretty small in comparison to the others I’ve seen in the gym.I don’t know much about boxing, but I remember hearing something once about different weight classes.Some of the guys in my school wrestled, and they talked about making weight.If that’s not the case for bouncing guy, he’s going to be clobbered.
“Don’t favor your right side.You don’t want him getting on it.You’re weak there,” the other man says as he touches the guy’s side.
Is there going to be a fight here?I thought this was a gym for people to train before they go to fights.Apparently not because this guy is gearing up and using what they think is an empty locker room to do so.Shit, I’m going to be stuck in here squatting on a toilet.My thighs are burning, and I’m not sure I can hold this pose much longer.
Closing my eyes, I try to fight through the pain, but when I hear one of them say that it’s twenty minutes until they need to be out there, my left leg gives out, and I slip and fall.My ass smacks down on the lid of the toilet, making it flush at the same time.
“What the fuck?”I hear one of them say before they push on the stall door.It’s locked, and I don’t move as fear takes hold of me.
“Come out,” the other guy barks.
“They were listening to our strategy,” the first guy says.“Come out here, you fucking rat.”
They bang on the door harder, the noise echoing off the tiles, but I’m frozen.Their fists rattle the whole door so hard I think it’s going to explode open.
“Why the fuck are you banging on my doors?”a voice booms across the locker room over the noise the guys were making.I know that voice.I’ve heard it before but have never seen his face.
“Someone is hiding in the stall,” one of the guys says.
“You didn’t check if the ladies locker room was clear before you took it over?”the familiar voice asks, and I see through the crack he’s heading for my door.
“I looked under the doors.They must have been standing on the toilet.”
Okay, now who’s the rat?
“Come on now, open up,” the big man orders, and I don’t have much of a choice.This guy might be bigger, but at least I recognize him, and he doesn’t sound as pissed as the other two.“Let’s go, or you’ll only make this worse.”
Reaching out, I slide the lock over, and he pushes the door open.I keep my gaze down to the floor, staring at our shoes, and I can feel his gaze on me.
