The truth. Start with the truth. If Cressida could see the evolution of his predicament, she would understand. How could she not?
He tugged out his cell and pulled up an image. “This is my ten-year-old niece, Elise.”
Her forehead wrinkled, but her eyes lit up as she looked at Elise. “Oh, she’s adorable. So very cute. It looks like she’s in a hospital bed. Getting an infusion of some kind?” Cressida’s eyes were filled with compassion, and she looked from Elise to Braden.
God, please help me help her to understand.“Yes. She has a rare form of leukemia. My sister lost her husband in a workaccident, and Elise lost her father. I’ve been looking out for them ever since. Lauren had a good job, but she resigned to be with her daughter. She doesn’t know how long Elise will be with us.”
Cressida covered her mouth, tears surged in her eyes.“Oh,Braden. I’m so,so sorry.”
He saw the question in her eyes, but she didn’t ask it.Why are you telling me this now?
“The good news is that there’s an experimental treatment.”
“But those are difficult to get.” Her eyes widened.
“Try impossible in most cases, and that was certainly the case with Elise. A ten-year-old with acute myeloid leukemia that just so happens to have a rare genetic mutation, so it resists standard therapies. There was no treatment option left. Then we learned about this new drug that targets the specific mutation, and by the time it would be available to Elise, even if she was approved for clinical trials, it would be too late.”
He stared at her long and hard, believing she would connect the dots on her own, and he hoped that once she did, she would completely understand and forgive him. But he could be asking too much here on both fronts. Cressida might not grasp on her own that her mother had offered the help Elise needed ... for a price.
“And you were able to get this experimental drug?” Cressida’s eyes filled with sincere relief—for Elise, a child she didn’t even know personally.
Her understanding and compassion for others ran deep, but he feared it wouldn’t run deep enough for him.
“And it’s working, Cressida.” His eyes surged with emotion. “It’s working. God answered our prayers.”
He released a sigh—almost of relief, but not quite. He wanted to bring her close and hug her because in the nextfew moments, he might lose her. He didn’t deserve her. Never thought he would get a chance.
“Thank you for sharing, Braden.” She pursed her lips and slightly shook her head.
“I know you’re confused.” A painful knot lodged in his throat.
“You shared something very personal,” she said. “A piece of yourself. No, wait, the whole of you. That little girl has your heart. Your whole heart.”
Indeed, she did. But Cressida held a piece of his heart too.
“You want to know why I told you.” He said the words she refused to say.
She smiled, blinking back unshed tears. “I’ve cried enough. I’m not going to cry anymore tonight. Is it that you want me to share something? You think that I know something that could somehow help with this investigation? Something in myverypersonal, very private life?”
Oh, honey ...Disappointment raked over him that Cressida hadn’t connected those dots he’d willed her to connect, and it would be on him to break it to her. “I wish it was that easy.”
She crossed her arms, and the frown on her face told him she was bracing for his news, and so maybe a small part of her was beginning to fully understand the big picture of his life.
“Elise couldn’t get the experimental medicine without help. Without someone to pull the strings.”
He expected furious tears. Or a sharp retort. He would have welcomed it. But instead, Cressida’s face turned flat. No ... cold. Stone cold.
“Octavia Dane helped you, didn’t she?”
He slowly nodded, feeling the ice-cold punch to his gut. She had connected the dots, but not in the way he had hoped. Not in the way he needed.
“You’re here because of her, then. You’ve been here this entire time, just waiting on me to get here.”
“I didn’t know what I was waiting on. I still don’t know what this is about. Just that I need to protect you. She sent me to protect you, Cressida. She has threatened me and reminded me that for Elise to get her medication, I need to hold up my end of the deal.” He lifted his hands in surrender. “If you think I’ve enjoyed keeping this from you, you couldn’t be more wrong. This has torn me into pieces. I thought ... I hoped that I could share the truth with you, so you could know that you can trust me. There are no secrets between us.”
Without a word, she moved to the door and opened it, her gesture for him to get out. She didn’t even look at him.
Should he stand here and beg? Maybe she needed space. He was hoping. Lying to himself.
