While he apparently worked through this, his words and behavior scared her. Maybe she didn’t want to know after all.
“I mean, when you left for DC, I thought I’d hear from you again,” she said. “You could have at least said goodbye and told me you weren’t coming back. Hawk didn’t tell me a thing. I was just in the dark.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. Last year, when I was investigating the helicopter crash that killed my team, I made some enemies. I came across looking like a rogue agent, and unfortunately not everyone believed my story. So I got called back to DC, and while I was there, I was being followed and knew it wasn’t safe.I... wasn’t safe to be around. So, I mean, literally, I was trying to protect you.”
Well, her anger and hurt dissipated with this new information. “Oh, Cole. I’m sorry. But how can that be? You were cleared of any wrongdoing.”
“Officially. Unofficially, it only takes a simple twisting of perception. Come on, you thought I was an assassin too, didn’t you?”
Yeah. Until she learned the truth. “So, what happened?”
He got close. Really close. And whispered. “Look at me. I need your complete attention.”
Deep concern filled her. He was terrifying her. “You have it,” she said. “You’ve always had it.”
She could tell he held back a smile. “I’m not a hero, Jo. I’m a coward. If I was stronger, I would have been more like your father and stayed away. I don’t want you to be in any kind of danger. I just can’t talk about it.”
She stiffened and stepped back, and he pulled her closer. Tugged her to him and whispered in her ear again as if someone could be listening. “I was made to go on an off-the-books mission, okay? I couldn’t tell anyone. I was warned not to contact anyone. They relied on my special forces experience, past behaviors of going dark and ghosting others.” He sucked in what sounded like a painful breath. “I can’t tell you more.”
She stepped away. That sounded credible enough, but that wasn’t everything. “But ... when was it over? I mean, when did you finish?”The mission.She hadn’t said the word aloud because he seemed determined to hide that aspect of this conversation. After all, you never knew who was listening in.
He rubbed his forehead, then dropped his hand, the pain and regret clear on his face. She figured the hurt and anger she felt at his words were equally clear on hers.
“I’ve been free for about four months.” His frown couldn’t have been any deeper. “I had to make sure that it was over, and I wouldn’t forever be coerced back into secret missions. I couldn’t tell you anything. I shouldn’t be telling you now. And you’d been through so much. With all my baggage, you had enough of your own problems. I figured I was doing you a favor by staying away. You deserved better. You deserved to be safe. That’s when I started my own gig offering private investigations and protection services and partnered with CGIS, based out of Colorado, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. And then I got this idea that I could help you and end the danger that chased you into hiding. I got this absurd idea that maybe if I did that, you could forgive me for going dark on you.”
Palms out, he stepped forward.
She stepped back.
“I would give anything to go back and fix my mistakes. I would give anything if I hadn’t hurt you. Believe me, I hurt myself too.”
And then Cole pursed his lips. He held something back. What had he been going to say?
“Tell me. What were you going to say?”
So much pain etched his features. “Now ... now isn’t the time, Jo. I’m sorry.”
“I can’t take any more.” She left him standing there and rushed down the hallway until she found her room. Not really her room. She slammed the door and pressed her back against it, hating the drama-queen act. She’d asked him for an answer, and he’d given her one, and then she’d thrown it back in his face? She sounded so pathetic.
So desperate.
I should never have kissed him.Because now she couldn’t stop thinking about the feel of his lips and his rough face. Jo wouldn’t risk leaving her room to step out onto the deck so she could get a good slap of cold in the face. She didn’t want to risk facing Cole again. Or, for that matter, Hawk or Remi, who were still here. Forherprotection. How much did either of them know about the reasons Cole stayed away, if anything?
Jo rushed to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face. Too many conspiracy theories were floating around in her brain, coming from all directions, and she had to make the noise stop.
God,please make it stop.
It was nearing eight o’clock, not really bedtime, but she was exhausted, so she got ready for bed. But she couldn’t sleep, so she turned on the small lamp at the writing desk, pulled her tablet out of her bag, and turned it on.
Jo started searching all the information on Advanced Technologies and Gemini Aerospace, but she couldn’t gain access to former employees of government contractors. Still, she couldn’t help herself and read all about both companies and the various clients they served in the aerospace industry. None of it mattered, really.
Except...
Hmm.
Pop had told her that he hadn’t married and had no other children, but he’d clearly lied about his life. What else had he lied about? His family?
She didn’t have the resources to learn the truth, and despite the way she acted toward Cole, she hoped that he was still in this with her. She hoped his connection—Allison—discovered more about her father, Ransom Driscoll. He was alive, he could tell Jo why she was in danger. He could tell her more about her mother and their life...
