“I really want to, with you,” he says. “Just not tonight. I got… I don’t know. It was amazing, but I got nervous out of nowhere.”
“And that’s okay.” I don’t know what exactly to do, so I keep my arms open in the hopes that he lets me give him a hug. He sure could use one. “I’m ready whenever you are.”
That earns me a strained huff, and much to my relief, he falls into my arms. I close around him, and he sighs into my chest.
“Do I…” he starts, and sucks in a ragged breath. “Are you going to make me go back to the couch?”
“No!” I stop myself from tightening my grip, and Callum nudges into me, making my core ache. “If you want to sleep on the couch, you’re always free to go, but I want you here. I want you to stay.” Even though I loosen my grip, he stays still, so I bend down and plant a soft kiss in his cute hair while rubbing his back. “I’ve got you. You can stay.”
“You're so good to me, Ian,” he whispers. “Nobody ever has been.”
My heart splits even more, and when he wraps his strong arms around me, sighing into my chest, I have to blink back tears. I almost don’t want to believe it—nobodyhas treated him nicely?Ever?
“Why wouldn’t I be good to you?” I murmur. “You’re the best, Callum. You make it so damn easy.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CALLUM
Ian is sound asleep next to me when I jolt awake the next morning. A sharp pang of panic rises in my throat, and I rub a hand across my face, trying to force it back down. It…kind of works, but that panic gets replaced with guilt. It crawls across my skin, and I fight the urge to curl up and let it win.
This is Ian’s bed. He belongs here, and I’m the jerk who made him stop last night.
I messed it up. He was soclearabout how much he wanted to have sex, and I should have been ready for him. Hell, I wanted it. I completely lost control of myself and kept taking non-stop, until I started overthinking about what exactlyI’dbe expected to do with Ian, and then I completely shut down.
And now I’m lying in Ian’s absurdly comfortable bed, spiraling.
He stopped when I asked, like it was nothing. He does so much for me, and I can’t even have sex with him even though Ialsowanted to?
I’m fucking pathetic.
He shifts around, startling me, and I roll away to give him space.
“Morning,” he mumbles, his eyes still closed. He stretches out an arm and pats around the sheets where I was lying a few moments ago, scrunching up his face and shuffling toward me. I tense up, holding my breath, as his roaming hand lands on my waist, narrowly missing my traitorous morning wood.
Ian lets out a low hum as soon as he makes contact with me. “There you are.” The way his body softens confuses me and makes my heart flip. “C’mere.”
I loosen my clenched jaw ever so slightly, noticing the warmth in his tone, but my nerves stay stuck in my chest. “Why?”
“Callum,” he whines, dragging my name out, and his low, husky voice sends tingles into my tailbone. “I’msocold.”
At that, he pulls himself into me, and I give in, letting myself relax. We’re in an awkward position—he’s shorter, but I’m the one in his arms. Not that I’m complaining, especially since I’ve never been this comfortable before.
“Did you sleep okay last night?” I ask, trying to break through my own tension.
“Mhm.” He sighs and tightens his hold on me. “But waking up next to you is even better.”
As soon as those words leave his mouth, the last of my nerves melt away. How can he just drop something like that?
But then he stiffens his body and loosens his grip on me. “Shoot, sorry. That was too much, wasn’t it?” He sighs. “I can be a lot.”
“Nah, it seemed right to me. Maybe I needed to hear that,” I admit. Now I’m the one wrapping around Ian, and I don’t miss how solid and warm he feels in my arms.
He huffs and opens his mouth to speak before pausing, seemingly hesitant. “Be careful what you wish for. I wasn't kidding about being a lot.”
“That’s fine,” I say. “Come here.”
“Fuck yes.” He drops his head to my chest, relaxing into my body.
