Condoms in one half, packets of lube in the other.
My breath hitches as ideas intrude my mind. I could use lube on myself. I never have, given the hell that would break loose if anyone found sex supplies in my room at home, but I can guess it’d feel way better than spit or shampoo.
Even thethoughtmakes my dick stir.
I’m ridiculous—I can't keep myself in check over something sobasic. Still, I can't get the thought out of my head. The post-workout buzz I always get isn’t helping my self-restraint any more than it never does.
I grit my teeth and pull my sweater down to cover myself. The last thing I need is to broadcast my lack of control to the whole college.
After an unnecessary glance around to make sure I’m alone, I grab a handful of lube packets and stuff them into the depths of my backpack before making a hasty exit, trying not to look like I pulled a heist. My eyes stay fixed to the ground in front of me as I make the short, icy walk back to my room, and I lock the door behind me before unclenching my jaw and releasing a tense breath.
Here, it's just me.
I slip my jeans off and climb into bed, and I can't stop focusing on the frayingcuffs.
Yeah, I catch how other students stare at my stretched-out jeans and the shirts that catch under my arms, but can I blame them? I’ve got to be the only person on campus who still wears stuff that's over a year old. I'll have to wait until I get my first check from the library before I can get anything new, and even then, I'll only be able to afford some kind of imitation of what people here wear.
Kind of fitting for what I am—an imitation of who belongs.
The voice in my head pipes up.Shut up. You belong.
Sometimes I listen, sometimes I don't. I mean, WMU wouldn't have given me a full ride if Ididn'tbelong,but the student body isn't responsible for admissions.
My wandering thoughts are politely interrupted with a chime from my phone.
Student Portal Updates:
Ian Scott has uploaded Draft Video 1.mp4 to HM2 Project Drive (Today, 12:37 p.m.)
I click the link I missed and watch the video, which makes me wonder if Ian is minoring in Creative Studies. He made my cheap phone video look almost professional, making the audio sharp, and applying some kind of filter to smooth out the static.
Just watched the video, looks good, thanks for editing it
Again, I remind myself not to add a period.
Ian Scott
Thanks man!
You’re the best
That line hits me square in the chest, and I grin. Warmth spreads through me, fast and almost overwhelming.
He said I'mthe best.I mean, he's probably the kind of guy whosays that to everyone, but still, I let myself smile wider. Ian is soniceto me. He has the kind of smile that lights up the whole room while also looking like it’s meant for you.
He’s—
Cute.
Oh, god, no. Why did I have to think?—
He's so hot. He'd look amazing without a shirt.
I try to shove those thoughts out of my mind, but instead, my brain feeds me replays of all the lewd glances I stole at Ian earlier in the gym. His arms. His bright smile. Him flicking a lock of pretty, sweat-damp hair out of his flushed face.
I shove my phone under my pillow and close my eyes, hoping I calm down.
It doesn’t work. I get a close-up, true-to-life memory of his thick quads flexing in those tiny, tiny shorts.
