I slapped his hand away, a rough growl slipping out. “Cut it out. Is my phone down here?”
Frowning, he looked around, like it might suddenly appear. “No? Not that I’ve seen. Are you going to—”
I didn’t wait to find out what he’d been about to say. There was no time for chitchat, not when my mate might’ve been hurt—or worse. And it would all be my fault.
“Hey, where are you going? What’s wrong?” Mace called after me, the tinkling of the bell over the door too chipper for my current mood.
I didn’t stop until I reached the café where I’d run into Joel—was that only yesterday? I peered through the window, but there was only an unfamiliar woman at the counter. Pulling the door open, a waft of air washed over me, and that was enough. The air was drenched in coffee and pastries, but any hint of sunlight or dewdrops had faded. My mate wasn’t here and hadn’t been since yesterday.
My desperation to find him doubled, and I ran to where I’d seen him getting on a bus. Shifter stamina be damned, I pushed myself to the point where my breath was sawing in and out in a wheeze. Arriving at the bus stop, I wished I had my phone so I could check the schedule. I turned to an older woman sitting on the bench. “Excuse me, do you know when the next bus arrives?”
She gave me a narrow-eyed glare, daring me to step closer. I could only imagine how I looked to her. On a goodday, some people saw my ink and piercings as a threat, and today was not a good day. My shirt was damp with sweat, my hair was tangled from clutching at it. Now Ireallyneeded a shower. With how wild my eyes were, I probably looked strung out, coming down hard from a high. The woman clutched her purse like a weapon, and I had no doubt she would swat me with it. It was probably filled with rocks. When I inched back to give her space, she sighed sharply. “Should be any minute,” she offered at last.
I nodded my thanks and paced along the curb until the bus appeared at last. As soon as the doors opened, I jumped up the steps… only to come up short. Shit. I dug through my pockets and came up empty of change. I had no wallet, no phone. The bus driver was getting impatient, and I whined.
“Oh, for goodness’ sake,” the woman from before grumbled behind me. “Here. Just get on the bus already.” She shoved a bus ticket at me, then nudged me forward.
I blew out a relieved breath and muttered apologies and thank-yous all the way down the aisle.
Plonking down on a hard seat of molded blue plastic, I scanned the passing neighborhood out the window. I had no way of knowing if this was the same route Joel had gotten on, and no way of knowing where he got off.It was a long shot—the longest shot, in fact—but I was desperate.
A knot had lodged in my chest, and I clutched at it, my eyes burning with tears. My jaguar wouldn’t have hurt him, right? He was not justmymate, butours. He was our one and only.
The stores and businesses passing by began to blur as tears collected, and my panic was turning into something else. Something rawer, like teeth tearing me apart, piece by piece. How long could I survive without a heart? Without a soul?
But then suddenly, through the flood of misery, I felt a sharp tug in my chest, like a fishhook, giving me a hardyank. Before I could second-guess what it meant, I was up and out of my seat, racing toward the front of the bus. “Please, I need to get off!”
The driver looked like he was about to tell me to wait for the next stop, but then we made eye contact through the large rearview mirror, and I saw his eyes go wide. He practically slammed on the brakes, and I grabbed one of the metal bars before I could topple over. He angled the bus sharply for the curb and slammed the door open. Racing down the steps, I heard the driver mutter a prayer meant to ward off evil. I couldn’t even blame him.
Following that tug lodged in my chest, I jogged down the sidewalk, head swiveling. And when I came around the corner, I nearly choked on my tongue. Joel! He was alive and unharmed! Coming to a sudden stop, my knees nearly gave out in my relief. I made some pitiful sound that had my jaguar rolling his eyes at me. Sure,nowhe was awake.
As if I would hurt him, he muttered, insulted. And now that he’d said it, I realized how stupid it had been to even consider the possibility. Of course he wouldn’t. Why had I been so worried?
I couldn’t stand to let Joel out of my sight yet, so I followed him at a distance, until I saw him unlock the door of a gray-brick building. Thesamegray-brick building as in my dream, in fact. Not a dream then.
My jaguar had hijacked my body while I slept, and I didn’t sense a single ounce of guilt coming off him. Instead, there was a smug smirk, and I knew without a doubt that he would do it again.
As Joel disappeared inside, I forced myself to walk away. I decided to cut through the park, and there, lying in the grass, I found my phone, along with the torn remains of my boxers. I sighed, collected the shreds of fabric, tucked my phone back in my pocket, and headed home. Tonight, I would be more prepared. This wouldn’t happen again.
Chapter 6
Joel
Half-asleepasIwas,it was no surprise when my toe snagged on the second step, and I pitched forward. I caught the railing at the last second, nearly tumbling straight off the bus and landing face-first on the pavement. The near accident was enough to startle me awake with a little burst of adrenaline. Damn, that would’ve hurt.
“You okay there?” the bus driver asked.
I waved it off and gave him a tight smile and a pathetic thumbs-up. “All good. Night.” He looked skeptical, but this was the last bus of the night, and he was probably just as eager to get home as I was. The door closed with a wheeze, and the bus pulled away from the curb, leaving me standing alone on the sidewalk in the pale yellow glow of the streetlight. There was no other traffic, no pedestrians. Just little old me, worn down and flagging fast.
Fuck, I was exhausted, body and mind. Days like this didn’t happen often. It was surprisingly easy to juggle three part-time jobs: the café three weekday mornings, the bar on weekend nights, and walking dogs as needed for my clients in the afternoons. But every now and then, the universe decided to throw me a curveball.
A coworker at the café went home yesterday with the stomach flu, and my boss, Jack, asked if I could cover her shift today. Money was nice, I liked it very much. I was a big fan of spending it, and knowing my heat was due soon and I would have to take a few days off, it wouldn’t go to waste. So, I found myself saying yes without really thinking about what it wouldfeellike to be up at 5am, then work all three jobs, not getting home until close to 4am. By the time I had a post-work shower and snack, I would’ve been awake for a full 24 hours.
I sighed, my breath rising in the air in a puff of steam. The cool night air should’ve been bracing, invigorating, like a slap in the face, but all it did was make me burrow my nose into the top of my jacket. My limbs were dead weight, and I had to psych myself up for the two-block walk home.Come on, you can do it, inner me said, but his voice was much quieter than the one that said,Fuck that.
“Uuuugh,” I groaned, shoes scraping the pavement as I forced myself to stagger forward. The longer I put it off,the higher the chance that I would just fall asleep right here, and my bed was calling.
With my nose still tucked in my jacket and my hands shoved deep in the pockets, I could barely see where I was going. Not like I needed to. I’d walked this same stretch of street more times than I could count, and I could probably just close my eyes for a quick catnap and still make it home in one piece.
