“Grace, I am aware of your reservations about marriage and as much as it pains me, I happen to agree with you.”
“You do?”
“Yes. If you were to marry, your chances of becoming a doctor would be drastically diminished. Even if it was to someone like me, who would afford you every freedom required to pursue it. I cannot, in all honesty, tell you that I would not eventually change my feelings about it, should we marry.” He paused for a moment before adding, “And as much as other men might promise to allow you to achieve your dreams, I would take their words with a grain of salt.”
She frowned.
“What other men?” When he didn’t speak, she blinked. “You mean Mr. Milton?”
“I’m sure he will try and tempt you with promises and whatnot, but I know your desire to become a physician and I’m not telling you to not believe him, but I wouldn’t put it past him to promise you all sorts of things and then change his mind once he has what he wants.”
Grace glanced down at their joined hands.
“He offered to build me a hospital.”
A moment of silence.
“Did he?” James asked, his voice gruff and she gazed up at him.
“But for me to be a patron of, not a doctor. He was honest with me. He told me he should want a wife first and foremost and I cannot give that to him.”
James stared at her.
“So, you will not marry Mr. Milton?”
“No.”
James’s hand tightened around her fingers, his countenance suddenly relieved and Grace felt her heart beat with pleasure. He breathed deeply after a moment.
“Then you will see this apprenticeship to the end. I will make sure of it.”
“And after?” she asked, unable to help herself. “When I become a doctor, what will we do then?”
He shook his head.
“I do not know.” He leaned forward and gently brushed his lips against hers before pulling back. “But I should like to be near you, however possible, for a very long time, indeed.”
Although Grace had always prided herself on her ability to refrain from crying, James’s words affected her in a way no others ever had. He wanted to be with her, regardless of marriage, all so that she might realize her dream. It felt as if her heart were breaking and mending all at once.
She reached forward, kissing him with all of herself, her hands going to either side of his face. He leaned back, allowing her to have her way with him until they were both breathing unevenly.
“Wait,” he tried. “Grace, you have to leave.”
“Later,” she muttered in between kisses.
“If you wait any longer, we will be married, and as much as that would please me, it’s not what you want.”
She paused, leaning her forehead against his and she tried to calm her breathing. Then, she pulled away.
“Yet. It’s not what I want yet.”
He smiled at her, but it felt uneasy.
“However this turns out, Grace, I’m here for it.”
She was still for a moment before she slid off the edge of the bed to get dressed. He did as well, and with the next quarter of the hour, James was walking her across the street and opening the back door that led into the kitchens. He wouldn’t let her go alone, which was as annoying as it was sweet.
“Wait,” she said suddenly, remembering why she had gone to see him in the first place. “What are we going to do about Mr. Roberts and the men in Gallowgate?”
