Instantly, James pulled her against his chest, kissing her furiously. His mouth was punishing, likely to teach her a lesson about going off by herself, but Grace didn’t care what he intended for her to learn from it. He was kissing her and that was all that mattered.
The aroma of citrus was now an aphrodisiac as she inhaled greedily, taking in the scent of him only for him to pull back, his forehead leaning against hers.
“What if something happened to you?” he asked roughly. “For God’s sake, Grace, if you insist on going through this world alone, you have to take care of yourself.”
“I know.”
“No,” he said. “I don’t think you understand.”
Her brow pinched, trying to decipher his words.
“I don’t?”
He closed his eyes, his hands moving over her back, as if trying to memorize the feel of her.
“No.” He exhaled. “You’re too important to too many people and to think of you in distress, alone… It guts me.”
Grace’s heart expanded, aching at his confession. Ashamed for going to Gallowgate alone, she brought her hand up to his bearded cheek and pressed her mouth to his, slowly and deliberately. His kiss tasted like home.
When she pulled back, she saw such reverence in his eyes that it scared her. But then she spoke.
“I’m sorry for causing you distress.” He dipped his chin to acknowledge her apology but it didn’t feel like enough. “Truly, James. I do not wish to ever cause you anguish.”
A soft laugh escaped him.
“Grace, every day I am in anguish.” His hand came to her neck, his fingers gripping the back of her head. “Every moment spent in your presence is a special hell, knowing that I can’t touch you, or even tell you what you mean to me.”
Grace’s pulse surged. She wanted to tell him that she felt the same way, but she knew it would only lead to conversations she neither was ready for nor wanted. She already had a dream and she didn’t want to replace it and so instead of talking, she began to unbutton his shirt. If she couldn’t tell him how she felt, she could at least show him.
But his hands wrapped around her wrists, stopping her. Gazing up, she feared he wouldn’t let her, but then a hint of a smirk showed at the corner of his mouth.
“Mrs. Cramer might wake and discover us. Come.”
For the second time, he took her hand and led her up a staircase and she was grateful. All she wanted to do was to make love to him, curl up against his solid form, and sleep for ages. It was when they were alone together, naked and exhausted, that she had found the greatest peace of her life and she needed it now more than ever.
By the time they reached his room, she had noted a number of things. His house was well lit, but darkly decorated. Moss green hallway walls led to a large bedroom with a dark floral and vine pattern. A marble fireplace sat on the right wall, with a massive bed on the left, covered in an olive-green plaid blanket, woven with a blue and red stripe so intertwined it almost appeared purple, like the heather Grace had seen in fields surrounding Glencoe.
On the far wall was a window, familiar in shape as Grace had often stared at it after her baths, though it was always dark. She went to it and gazed out across the street to her own window.
“I’ve looked for you from my room, but you’re never here.”
“I’ve seen you.”
She spun around.
“You have?”
“Aye,” he said, reaching her. He took her hand and placed it against his chest. “A number of times.”
Emotion crept up her and fearful of her own reaction, she kissed him, her hands going back to the unbuttoning that he had interrupted downstairs. He allowed her to take her time, his own hands moving over her as they kissed. Once his chest was exposed, she let her fingers touch his skin, but it wasn’t enough. Finally, he stepped back and shrugged out of his clothes, while she undressed herself, thankful that she had worn one of her simpler gowns.
He was nude by the time she was only in her chemise, and staring at him in the dim firelight, Grace wondered if there had ever been a more perfect specimen. The way the shadow played against the contour of his muscles seemed to exaggerate all of him and she was in awe of him. From his corporeal gaze, to the clean line of his beard, the ripples of his abdomen and below, she was sure there had never been a more beautiful man. One who exuded care, intelligence, and above all, a touch that could not only heal, but could cause such a visceral reaction in herself.
She wanted to cause that same feeling in him and with a courage and audacity she didn’t believe she possessed, she took a step toward him. Then knelt.
James let out a shaky breath. She didn’t know exactly what she was supposed to do, but she knew what she wanted to do and reaching up to touch him, his hand instantly went to her cheek, his thumb moving back and forth as if she were some sort of pet.
Oh yes, a small voice echoed in her mind. Let her be that, just for tonight.
