“Because these feelings make me want to do things I’ve sworn never to do.”Yes. James felt the same way, but worriedthat he might frighten her, he only nodded. “And I cannot, James. I promised myself never to marry anyone.”
Although he wasn’t considering proposing, her staunch stance on the topic of marriage irritated him. The finality of her tone made him want to argue, but to do so would only push her away and he didn’t even want to marry her.
Did he?
“Grace, while this is probably the most unconventional, stupidest thing I’ve ever even considered doing in my life… I promise, I wouldn’t do or say anything that might pressure you.” She shook her head. “Nor would I cast you aside if that was your fear.”
“I’m not worried about that. I just… I would like to explore whatever this is, from a scientific point of view, without the constraints of social pressure to do something that I, or you, might regret. Like marriage.” She swallowed. “Which is why I’m probably so eager to continue. So that you don’t stop to think and realize what an outrageous experiment this is.”
An experiment? Is that how she honestly saw this? James nearly laughed at the absurdity of the word while also disliking it. This was not some sort of research to be conducted for the benefit of a thesis. But she seemed so uneasy at the idea of being married that he couldn’t resist asking about it.
“What is it about marriage that frightens you?” She immediately tried to pull away, but he held her. “No, Grace, please. Tell me.”
For a moment, he didn’t believe that she would speak, but after a moment, she exhaled.
“I know what my life would be if I married. All my studying, all my work would be lost. And it would be no fault to anyone. I’m sure my husband would try to be supportive at first and I would believe it, but there’s a reason there aren’t married professional women. Eventually something would turn.My work would become too bothersome, or there would be arguments and one day my husband would forbid my work and he would have the power to do so.” She shook her head. “I would try and convince myself that it was for the best, and for a while we might live in harmony, but eventually I would resent him and I don’t want to resent you, James. But I also don’t want to live a life only half fulfilled.”
She was asking for something James had never considered before. A relationship that was separate from their professional one, one based entirely on their primal instincts, without consequences.
“So, you’d like to sleep together, but for it not to lead anywhere? Is that right?”
“Yes.”
“Grace, I don’t even know what to call that.”
“It doesn’t need a name,” she said softly, her hand reaching for his jaw, dislodging all his practical reasoning to stop this. “Perhaps it can be a mutual experiment?”
There was that word again and once more, James found a dislike for it. Yet, if this was the only way to have her, then he couldn’t very well say no. Instead, he gave her a single nod.
“Very well. Let whatever this is be on your terms.”
Grace’s chest expanded, her eyes awash in joy as she smiled at him, melting every bit of resolve he had.
“Truly?” she breathed, leaning toward him.
James couldn’t help but kiss her, deeply. Then, he pulled back.
“Yes. Whatever you wish.”
Grace’s hand reached behind his head and pulled him close, kissing him with equal enthusiasm. While the gentleman in him wanted to argue some very obvious points, such as what were to happen if their tryst was discovered, the baser version of himonly wanted to make her happy. Her beaming smile was reward enough for agreeing to her terms.
“James,” she spoke into his mouth, her fingers coming up to move against the edge of his chin.
His name on her lips was an intoxication in and of itself.
“Yes?”
“Undress me.”
The blood in his veins surged with fire. Without another practical thought, James spun her around and pulled the edges of her corset loose, until it fell over her hips to the floor. Her camisole was pulled up and overhead and when he turned her back to face him, she was left wearing only her chemise.
Just like he had imagined a hundred times.
A playful grin hovered on her lips as she watched him.
“I admit, I’m new to this, but, am I the only one to undress?”
James chuckled as he reached for her hand and pulled her from the doorway of the parlor.
