Faith hated that she should be so pleased with his observation as well as his flattery, but the reminder of London gave her pause. Unsure how to accept his praise, she turned the subject back to his wound.
“Are you sure you’re not in any pain?”
“I’m sure. I’m quite used to cuts and scrapes, you know.”
“Are you?”
“Yes,” he said with a nod. “I suffered a number of injuries aboard theMedusa, though nothing serious.”
“Was theMedusayour ship during the war?” she asked, coming to sit next to him.
“Yes.”
“Jeanne told me her husband was lost on that ship,” Faith said slowly, unsure why she even mentioned it. Surely it was a sensitive topic, but then she was curious. “I can’t imagine that it was easy for you.”
He gave her a cautious look before speaking.
“We were told it was a liberation mission. That the sitting government was a tyrannical one, and we were saving the people from despotism—but the truth was we weren’t even supposed to be there. We were used by the East India Company to further their business interests. But I was a soldier with a job to do.
“Duncan had been ill for nearly a week before we were attacked. We were ambushed from both sides of the river without warning. A stockade was set ablaze, smoking choked out the space between the riverbanks. We were desperate to get out of there, but before we could escape, Burmese soldiers began to board the ship.
“I had been a part of several skirmishes at that point, but this was different. The unrelenting heat, the lack of visibility, and impending dread made it feel like we fought for hours. Before I knew it, the ship had been freed, and we could withdraw. Nearly every man made it that day…except Duncan. He had only just returned to duty from the sickroom below decks, and he was struck right at the start of the ambush, causing him to fall overboard. His body was never found.”
Faith stared at him, suddenly understanding why he refused to use his title.
“And you think because Duncan was lost, you don’t deserve your knighthood?”
“I don’t,” he said plainly.
Faith heartily disagreed, but Logan’s countenance told her now wasn’t the time to argue. Instead, she changed the subject.
“Why are you here, Logan?”
He gazed up at her, his unfairly handsome face making her heart flutter as he did so.
“I came, because you and I have unfinished business.”
“We do not.”
“We do,” he said, shifting slightly. “Why are you so determined to say no to me?”
She looked down at her hands as they folded together in her lap.
“I don’t understand why we must make such a drastic, life-altering decision when if I hadn’t been…” She shook her head, unsure how to word it. “All I mean to say is, you needn’t feel required to offer.”
“My feelings on the matter are not relevant. It’s what needs to happen.”
“That’s where you are wrong,” she said, standing. “I’m not going to be anyone’s burden, Logan. I’ve no desire to be connected to you for the rest of our lives simply because we made the mistake of—”
“Mistake?” he scoffed as he stood, wincing only slightly. “There was no mistake, you stubborn fool. I want to marry you.”
She shivered at his words, embarrassed that she was so satisfied to hear them. But she didn’t want to be pleased by his words. She wanted to be free of him for good. It seemed that the only way she could be was to tell him the truth.
“You may not still feel that way after hearing my confession.” His gaze turned dark, but she continued when he didn’t speak. “I only came to Harris House… because I wanted to destroyOdalisque Reclined.”
Faith didn’t dare look up at him as the room filled with silence. She knew how bad it sounded; what an absolute,conniving person it made her to say it out loud. She decided that this was it and that she would confess all her sins now.
“When I sent you that note, to meet me at the Lismore Hunting Lodge? I knew Hope and Graham ventured there weekly at that precise time. I wanted us to be nearly caught, to prove that Harris House was the only place we could truly have an affair, but you wouldn’t budge. So, then I invited you to Loch Fyne, knowing Grace needed to gather medicinal herbs for Dr. Barkley. I invited myself on her outing, knowing that we would be caught and hoping that the experience would prove that Harris House was the only place we could be together, solely to gain access to that painting.” Faith paused and squeezed her eyes shut. “You see, Logan? I’m not someone you should want to marry.”
