The words fell from her mouth like a hammer on an anvil. In that moment, everything stopped. Graham’s heartbeat, the passing of time, the world turning on its axis—all seemed to freeze. For a sickening moment he felt Hope being snatched away from him and he wanted to rage against it, but the small, slight of a woman standing before him made him go still.
It was time to tell the truth.
He took a step towards her, but instinctively she took one back, her hands coming up to stop him. The ache in his heart from not being able to touch her was unbearable.
“Hope, let me explain.”
A sharp inhale of breath.
“Oh no,” she said so softly that he barely heard her. He had confirmed that there was something that needed to be explained—which apparently had the same effect as if he’d simply said “yes.” The pain written across her face made him want to set the world on fire. He had caused it and he would walk backwards through hell to take it back, if he could.
Unable to stop himself he reached for her again, and though she tried to pull away, he refused to release her. He needed to hold her, to push out all the doubt and pain he had caused.
“Let go.”
“Hope—”
“I can’t believe this.”
“I want to marry you,” he said, his hands coming up to the sides of her face. “I wouldn’t have agreed unless I wanted you.”
She let out a bitter laugh as tears filled her eyes.
“Well, of course you did, when you had all of this to gain,” she said, gesturing to the building surrounding them. “Was the house all Belle offered you? Or was there more? The townhouse in London, perhaps? Or maybe she included the vineyard in Italy?”
“Hope, stop it—”
“Or maybe she begged,” Hope said, a humorless smile on her face. “Maybe she was so desperate to marry off her silly, spinster niece that she out right begged you to marry me. Because of what a complete and utter failure I am—”
Graham’s fingers dug into her arms, shaking her slightly as the poisonous, self-deprecating words fell from her mouth.
“Stop it,” he barked, furious and ashamed. “You’re not a failure.”
“Aren’t I?” she said, her eyes unfocused as her head bent downward. “I never could manage to do anything right. That’s what my grandmother always told me. Lord, how she must have pitied me. The way I spoke, the way I acted. My inability to focus,” she said, frowning. “Over six seasons in society, and the best I could manage was Jacob Pennington. And even he didn’t want to marry me. Not truly,” she said, her mouth contorting into a brittle half smile. “Not until I was finally worth something.”
Graham’s anger towards himself was mounting.
“Don’t say that, Hope. You’re worth everything.” A sob escaped her lips and a knife might as well have gone through his chest. “Hope, please stop crying.”
“I can’t.”
“I know you’re angry, but you have to believe me. I wouldn’t have done any of this if I didn’t feel so strongly about you.”
“Angry?” she repeated the word, her brow furrowing. “You think I’m angry?”
“Aren’t you?”
“No. No, I’m not angry.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I am mortified.” She dropped her head, covering her face with her hands as she cried.
Graham hadn’t realized how much he had hurt her until that very moment. Quickly, he gathered her up into his arms and pressed her toward his chest. She fought him at first, but when he refused to release her, she finally gave in, crying softly into his chest as he held her close.
What sort of man am I?Graham wondered. Was he really a man who would stop at nothing to get what he wanted—regardless of who it hurt? Perhaps he wasn’t so unlike his father after all. He had been so determined to gain ownership of Lismore Hall. He had plotted and twisted his way into Hope’s life and hadn’t even the decency to tell her about one of his driving motives. No, instead he lied and cheated her. He was a bastard, but even now, through all of it, Graham couldn’t regret it because if he had Lismore Hall, it meant he had Hope too.
Finally, she pushed away from him.
“What a fool I am,” she said, her arms wrapping around her torso in a protective way. “I’ve completely ruined myself and for what?”
Graham didn’t like the sound of her words. Ruined? She wasn’t ruined at all—particularly since they were still going to be wed. He took a step forward, his large, looming form standing over her. He half expected her to cower in response, but then again, that wasn’t Hope. Even as a tremor racked through her, she refused to flinch as she glared up at him.
