She nods. “The best.”
I try not to let the quake show in my voice when I say, “Tell them. Let them know they did a good job in raising you. You have integrity, and that’s rare in young people these days.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
“You can go now.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Thanks for the coffee.” I manage, feeling like I need to collapse into my chair.
She turns at the door and smiles. “Anytime.”
I didn’t expect to have two desperately needed conversations today, but here we are.
My hands are still shaking when I sit back in my chair and close my eyes.
I don’t like that Haze resorted to violence, but when Max explained what happened, it sounded like my dad had it coming. He just never ever learns, and I am kinda touched that Haze stuck up for my brother. That’s what families do for each other. My dad seemed to have missed the memo on that one.
Speaking of which, I pick up the phone and dial Haze again. It rings out and goes to voice message. I don’t bother leaving one. Instead, I tap out a message.
Me
Need to talk. Call me when you get this
Why don’t you ask your husband, I’m sure he’ll come clean with you about all the lies he’s been keeping.And what exactly has Dad been protecting me from that I know nothing about? It’s fishy, and I just hope Dad is being his usual self and none of what he’s suggesting is true.
Haze doesn’t tell lies, nor does he keep things from me.
I can’t even believe my dad would defend his actions and not even argue the fact that he is here to snoop and try to control me. Well, those days are over. I will not put up with it.
I text Max to let him know me and dad had it out, but I’ll catch up with him tonight. No matter what happens, I’m not going to lose contact with my brother again. I need to be therefor him and make sure he’s truly in a good place. Things I should’ve done earlier in life before he took off.
I was too busy keeping Dad happy to see that he was neglecting Max’s needs. Was I the parent? No, but Mom was in no shape to be raising children, and I can’t help but feel it was Dad who put her there. He drove her away because she couldn’t deal with him.
I pull out my phone and text her, too.
Me
Mom, let me know when you can talk. I miss you
I stare at the words before I press send. Have I been this selfish my entire life? I lived for Dad’s whims and acceptance while my mother fled an emotionally abusive relationship, and instead of trying to understand, I was just mad at her for leaving and wouldn’t return her calls. For years.
She left us, and I had a hard time with that. Of course, Dad was quick to let us know she had mental problems, and that’s why she couldn’t cope anymore, and while I know she had issues, I’m sure his dictatorship didn’t help. We had conversations over the years when we finally rekindled, but nothing really deep. Mom knows I’m like my dad in that way, so she pushed nothing on me, nor did she ever speak one bad word abouthim.But I know the truth. I just didn’t want to see it. There are questions I want to ask her. She’s happy now, remarried to a nice guy called Mitch. Me and Max went to their wedding before Max took off, something that infuriated my dad. Dad really is the problem in this entire family. I’m not saying me and my brother were model children by any means, but we weren’t bad eggs.
I wipe the tears from my eyes because this has been one lousy day, and now I have questions for my husband that I need answering. Of course, Dad could’ve just been saying things to hurt me, and there’s likely no merit in any of what he said, but I still have to know.
My heart leaps when I hear my phone buzz, but it isn’t Haze. It’s my mom.
Mom
Sure, honey, let’s FaceTime. We got a new puppy
A tear slides down my face. My dear, sweet Mom. I kept her at arm’s length because I was confused about how she could up and leave, and all this time I didn’t even realize she had to protect her peace. I get that. It may be hard for me to admit it, but I understand.
Me
That’s so cute, what’s his or her name?
