Tag facepalms himself.
Nevada laughs.
Bronco shakes his head.
Priest gives her a soft smile, because he’s literally the only one here—besides Stella—who’s tolerant of most people.
“Jesus,” Cash mutters.
“Sweet child, you have so much to learn,” Riot says.
“I chose to keep my own name,” Stella tells her. “I wanted to go with Spitfire, but everyone decided it was too much of a mouthful, plus, I like being the odd one out.”
“You’re certainly that,” Nevada laughs, then dodges a punch on the arm from Stella.
“Funny fucker,” she says. “So, what are we doing standing around here?”
“We’re waitin’ to find a trace of where the van may have taken Willow,” Logan explains. “The trail went cold when we found the police car.”
“It’s gonna be okay, Haze.” Stella gives me a small smile. “Willow’s tough, plus, the MC has always come through before, and we’ve all been through some pretty crazy shit.”
I know she’s trying to make me feel better, but I won’t settle until we’re back on the road, racing toward her, and she’s in my arms.
“The boys are workin’ hard,” Brew says. “Just sit tight, and as soon as we have a lead, you’ll be the first to know.”
Except I can’t sit still. “I need some air,” I say, just as the server comes back with the tray of coffees. I stand and make my way outside. This feels completely futile sitting here, waiting for the phone to ring.
I try not to let my mind run wild, but it’s a little hard not to let myself go there.
A few moments later, Cash steps out. “You good, son?”
I shake my head. “Not even one percent.”
“The one thing I know about you in all the years I’ve known you is you will do whatever it takes for the people you love.People say that all the time, but when it comes to the crunch, they waver. They don’t have the stomach to do what we have to do, but not you. You or your brothers. I admire that.” He leans against the window as I try to compose myself. “I’ve seen some pretty rough shit over the years, but the Nomad Brothers always show up.”
“Yeah, and where was I when Willow needed me?” I throw back. “You don’t have to pep talk me into feelin’ better, Prez, it’s not gonna work.”
“No? What about all the times you put your neck on the line for complete strangers? We rescued more than a hundred women and children from those shippin’ containers in the raid. We stopped the ship leavin’ port, and you were part of that, because you’re a decent man,” he says. “So don’t ever question your own dedication, because I don’t wanna hear it.”
“I left the prospects to watch her…” I shake my head, ready to throttle Rip and Wheels. “I thought they’d be on top of it, but I should’ve done more.”
“The prospects shouldn’t have lost her, I agree, and you can beat them later, but we both know Willow would never have let you put her in a box, Haze, she’s not that kinda woman.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “You don’t understand?—”
“Don’t I? That day when Deanna was almost abducted and Pipes saved her life, it came to me in a flash. Nothin’ else mattered except keepin’ her safe, trust me, I get it. But Deanna is the same. As much as I wanted to bubble wrap her, I couldn’t do that. She’s her own woman and capable of makin’ her own decisions. Now, I’m not glad this happened by any means, but you gotta trust in the process.”
“I’m tryin’, boss,” I say. “But we were fightin’ right before. We both said some things, and well, she fuckin’ hates me because I lied to her. It was only to keep her safe.” My throat feels like it’s gonna close up, and I can’t breathe.
“Steady,” Cash says. “Just take a beat..” His arm comes across my shoulders and he pulls me toward him, resting my body against the window. I feel lightheaded, like I might pass out. “You’re havin’ a panic attack, and you just need to sit down and breathe.”
I don’t fight it when I slump down onto the ground, Cash following suit, and I bring my knees up.
“Deep breaths,” he tells me. “Just keep breathin’.”
“It feels like I’m dyin’,” I say, unable to catch my breath. “Feels like an elephant sat on my chest.”
“You’re gonna be fine. In through the nose, out through the mouth, that’s it.”
