He waslonely.
That was the word he was looking for.
I had a feeling he had been lonely more often than I would ever get him to admit.
"She knew someone I'd been with a few months before, and suggested I could avoid being in pain during sex if I allowed my partner to pleasure me. I agreed to try, which was a mistake."
He stopped.
"You don't need to beat around the bush, Callum. I'm not going to be jealous of an experience that was obviously traumatic for you."
He let out a quiet breath. "She was riding me. It... wasn't entirely uncomfortable. When I lost control, I lost my hold on my magic. I can't imagine I'll ever forget the way she screamed, or how she ran out of the hotel room without her clothes, sobbing and shaking."
Fuck.
There was a tense moment of silence between us. He was waiting for me to say something.
I debated what to say.
Callum didn't want my pity, and he was only telling me this to convince me that I didn't want him to fuck me.
"Do you know for sure that's how your magic will affect me?" I asked.
"No, but it's not a risk I'm willing to take."
"Have you ever felt real pleasure? No offense," I added quickly. "I'm not trying to be a dick. I just mean, if you're always in that much pain, you probably don't know what an orgasm feels like for someone who isn't."
"I imagine it's similar to the way it felt when you dragged my cock through your slickness before the first challenge."
"That was better than your orgasms without me?"
"It was."
"Callum, that wasnothing."
"It was far from nothing." He basically growled the words at me.
"Compared to the kind of pleasure I'm talking about, it wasn't. Do you think that's all I felt when you had your face between my thighs forhoursevery time I went into heat?"
His lack of response said enough.
"We don't have to start with sex. You could let me get you off with my hands—or you could do it yourself, while I'm touching some other part of you. It doesn't have to be a big deal," I said.
"I won't risk hurting you."
"Well, the offer stands. I'm willing to take the risk." I finished my glass of water, and set it in the sink off to our side. Callum put his down next to mine, and we headed out.
Even though our conversation hadn't technically gotten us anywhere, I felt a little closer to him than I had before. He'd told me about something awful from his past. He'd trusted me with it.
That was an improvement from where we'd been before.
We crashed hard,as soon as we got home. I shifted, like always, and Sable snuggled up with Callum, hardly opening her eyes in the process.
The next day, we were back to work.
I texted him a few hours in, when the people I was training were working well enough not to need my constant attention.
Me
