“She had to rebuild herself and her life.”Derek’s voice is still a bit wobbly.“And she did but, she has never opened herself up to love again.And I get it.These things take time.I totally understand her loyalty to Lois, even after her death.”He pauses.“Which is why I was so surprised when I saw Nic after her night with you.”He puffs out some air.“That was not the Nic I’ve known these past five years.”
“It’s such a shame,” Ben says.“We just want Nic to be happy again.”
I take another sip of my drink because I need a moment.Poor Nic.I can’t possibly imagine what she’s been through because I’ve never been in a serious long-term relationship.
“I’m going to go see her,” I blurt out.“I need to ask her something and I need to do it in person.”
“Is that wise?”Derek asks.
“Wise?”I shrug.“Who the fuck cares if it’s wise?”
Derek grins.“I can see why you remind her of Lois.”
“I’m not going to avoid her for the next two years because some old dudes on some stuffy board say I can’t see her.”I shake my head.“That’s not going to happen.”
“She could lose her practice,” Derek says.“If the psychology board suspends her license, that’s it.She’s done as a therapist.”He leans toward me.“Please, take that into consideration.”
“I need to ask her a question about my therapy,” I say.“Surely, that’s allowed?”They can say whatever they want.Nothing will stop me from seeing Nic—even if it’s for the last time.
“Do you really like her that much?”Derek asks.“Because if this is just some game to you, Avery…”
“It’s not a game.”I sit up a little straighter.“It was special for me too.”
“You’re Avery Hall,” Ben says.“Surely, you can be with whoever you want.”
“Clearly not.”My hackles go up.
“We just want to make sure that, um—” Derek briefly glances at Ben.“Well, that you’re not interested in Nic only because you’re not allowed to be.”
While I understand they’re worried about their friend, their suspicion annoys the hell out of me.
“Or because she’s your therapist,” Ben adds.“I hear it’s quite common for a client to?—”
“Please.”I put down my glass of water.“You don’t know me and you want to protect Nic.I get it.But… I have feelings, too.I may not have a great track record in relationships, but with Nic, I felt something special.It wasn’t just a casual one-night stand for me.I’m totally not into that, anyway.”I’m of two minds to just leave, but they’re the only viable connection to Nic I have left.I can hardly ask my agent for advice about dating her sister.
“Sorry for assuming.”Derek flashes me the smile that must have convinced Ida Burton to fake-marry him.“But, if I were you, I wouldn’t get my hopes up about anything.My guess is that Nic won’t want to see you.You’d best prepare yourself for the worst outcome.She’s very principled about her work.”
Derek wasn’t there when Nic invited me into her house.When she let me kiss her—when she let me tie her up.When she threw all her principles out of the window as though they meant nothing to her at all.
“I don’t have a master plan.”I do have to be realistic.Nic surrendered to me once, but it’s unlikely that she’ll do it again.Still, I have to try.“I just need to see her.Especially if I can never see her again afterward.”And, especially, I think, if Nic’s as crazy about me as Derek just said she is.
Exactly a week after we slept together, I pull up to Nic’s house and, my gait a little unsteady, hurry to her front door.
My heart flings itself against my ribcage as I ring the bell.I didn’t pay any attention to it last time I was here, but she must have a security system.She must be able to see it’s me.Or maybe she’s not home.I ring again because I have to.Because I have no choice.And I really do have a pressing question.
I have no idea whether Nic’s inside the house, waiting for me to leave.If so, how does it make her feel?How long can the scrupulous part of her win this war?
A voice crackles over the intercom.“You can’t be here.Please, I beg you, leave.”
My knees go all weak at the sound of her voice.There’s no way I’m giving up without a fight, despite my promise not to fight for Nic.
“Please, Nic.I need to ask you something about my appointment with Dr.Scott on Wednesday.”
“Were you followed?”she asks.
“What?No.”
“No paps?”she asks and I guess it’s a legitimate question but, despite being in last summer’s hottest movie, I’ve been spared that kind of relentless haunting by the tabloid press—for now.
