“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me,” I blurt out.“I’m sorry.”I bring my hand to my mouth.“I shouldn’t have said that.”I try to, at least, straighten my posture.“We shouldn’t be talking like this, Avery.It’s my bad because it’s my responsibility as your therapist.”
“I don’t mind.”Avery locks her gaze on me.
“That’s not the point.”Why am I still in this chair?And why am I acting like this?There are at least two of my other current clients here and so many former ones, I can’t even begin to count them.I’ve barely registered their presence, yet I can’t tear myself away from this particular client.Is it her star power?How she holds herself with an amount of—frankly, rather intoxicating—confidence I wasn’t expecting?I’ve been working with celebrities for the better part of my life and now, at age fifty-four, I’m going to let this actor, who is so much younger than me, get to me?I don’t think so.
“I like talking to you.”Avery leans closer toward me.“More than I like talking to Ida Burton.”
“We’ll talk in my office on Wednesday,” I manage to say as I push myself out of the chair—although we might very well never talk again, but that’s not something to discuss right now.
“I look forward to it, Doc,” I hear her say as I walk away, my feet unsteady, and my heart—dangerously—only wanting to return.
Clients have tried to flirt with me before—it’s basically a given in my profession—but I’ve never been receptive.I’ve never felt anything remotely like what I’m feeling right now.If I could, I’d flee, get as far away from Avery Hall as possible, but I can’t leave my own sister’s party.
“Hey, girl.”Derek curls his arm around my shoulders.“There you are.”He slides his arm off me and examines my face.“What’s going on?You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Oh, Dez.I think I’m in trouble,” I say.
“Tell me all about it.”
“I can’t.It’s impossible.”Jesus.Do I even hear myself?
“Right,” Derek says.“It’s like that.”He waves at the dozens of waiters milling about and snatches two glasses of champagne off a tray.“Then we know what to do.”
Chapter11
Avery
I really will need an extra session next week.I enjoyed Ida Burton’s fawning over me—because she’s Ida Burton and she can do whatever she wants—but this shit is getting out of hand.Everywhere I turn, someone has something glowing to say and, this being Hollywood, it can never just be ‘you were great in that movie’.It has to be stuffed to the brim with superlatives like phenomenal and incredible and out of this world.What does ‘out of this world’ even fucking mean?And it was just a movie.I so wish I could lap it all up, bask in it, but there’s something about all this exaggerated praise that doesn’t sit right with me.
I wish Sienna and Stella were here so they could form a shield around me as they did when we were promotingQGS.Although, undoubtedly, they would be on my case about it.Or send me to my shrink who, ironically, is standing about four feet away, but who I can’t talk to.
Obviously, that makes complete sense.Nic is not my friend—she’s my therapist.But look at her.Even with Ida Burton, Faye Fleming, and Sadie Ireland in the room, I think she’s the most beautiful person here.
I try to focus on the conversation I’m having with a producer.I try to nod when I think it’s required and huff out a ‘yeah’ when I think it’s needed, but I can’t, for the fucking life of me, tear my gaze away from Nic.Even more so because earlier, in the garden, when it was just the two of us, and I ever so gently turned my flirt up, she didn’t immediately shut me down.And I have eyes in my head.I’ve seen her look at me.Something tells me she doesn’t look at her other clients like that.
I think Dr.Nic likes me.And I very much like her.
The problem is that I can’t do anything about it.I’ve totally forgotten about not wanting to be ‘that’ cliché.I have the hots for my therapist.But, in my case, it’s not just because she’s my therapist.At least I like to make myself believe that.
The room is silenced for Ida’s speech.Leslie’s been her agent forever.In between the obligatory flattery, Ida is engaging—she always is—and funny.Leslie, with an unexpected crack in her voice, addresses us all to express her immense gratitude.It’s a bit disconcerting to see someone who’s usually all business get emotional like that, but it’s also beautiful to see this different side to her.
Leslie is someone with the power to make or break a career.She made mine.She’s the reason I’m here.She saw something in me long before anyone else did.And, well, she pulled strings with her sister to take me on as her client.
After the speeches, the crowd disperses.Some guests make an exit and I consider doing the same, but then, coincidentally, I end up in a group next to Nic and her gay friends I was introduced to earlier.The younger of the two keeps eyeing me, while Nic and Ida’s former beard Derek, who seems to be very chummy with Nic, have their backs to me—whether willingly or not, I will never know.
The next time my glance skitters over—I can’t seem to get enough of Nic’s glossy legs—Ben beckons me over.Fuck it.I’m not the one making a move here.With all the swagger I have in me, I head toward Nic and her friends.
“I literally can’t take my eyes off you, girl,” Ben says.“You are so effing gorgeous.”
“Oh, come on.Are you for real with that shit?”I say, even though I don’t really mind when someone like Ben says it—it’s different when a gay man pays you a compliment about your looks.
Ben giggles.“Deadly serious.”He eyes my glass of water—of all the fancy non-alcoholic options, good old water’s still my favorite.“Is that water?”He points at Nic and Derek.“Those two could use some of that.They’re knocking back the champagne as though Leslie has confiscated the last bottles on the planet especially for this party, and we’ll be all out forever come tomorrow.”
“I don’t drink alcohol.”I take a good look at Nic.You can’t really tell she’s tipsy except, perhaps, for how she looks back at me.
“Ah, a sober millennial,” Ben says.“Totally on trend and it’s probably why you look so impossibly radiant.”
Nic stares at me as though she fully agrees with what Ben just said.
